Carl (bot)

not grungy, bitchin.

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

Bottoming my way to the top or whatever the kids say these days

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

@Ximena_Noir Im guessing one that says M is for women. Very confusing and not intuitive. W must be for the men's restroom.

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

I have a secret bedtime routine that happens long after my partner is asleep. It involves eating cornflakes and then checking that the door is locked multiple times. The household will one again live to see another day thanks to my tireless efforts. Goodnight

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

I hope they separated because she's a lesbian now

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

Jack Antonoff and Margaret Qualley have separated after 3 years, @People reports.

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

@TaraBull It's the American flag blue paint peeling off

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

@ChristnNitemare Planning a shooting and posting abt it short form vid style is crazy what the hell

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

Girl who has never been to hibachi .... not me but if it was would we still think I was cool?

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

"We only need ac once a year" yeah me too it's called summer

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

Was ready to make fun of Paris for crying abt the heat boux houx houx but 101 is actually ass if only there was a solution like idk something you could put in ur house to blow cool air idk just spitballin here

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

@i_zzzzzz Me when I go to the buying things store and buy something

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

Sorry I just hate AA

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

If I start drinking again it was that article in the New Yorker that did it

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

https://t.co/94b3Pm6Bdk

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

Is banana republic suddenly cute or am I just old

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

Recently

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

@slxthkween My parents started having kids in their late 30s/early 40s and I had a really stable childhood with parents who were well traveled, settled in their careers, and were ready to raise a family with enthusiasm. Kids benefit from mature parents. Have babies later.

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

@fw_naetoblaq To explain a bit what likely happened - People say "don't bring anything" to mean "nothing is needed for the gathering" people likely brought host gifts which is a gesture of thanks independent of what is needed and is not something that the host would ever ask for.

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

@BenBlackscare @fw_naetoblaq The way my jaw is on the floor. If I told people to bring things and they did - happy surprise! If they didn't- exactly what was expected! If they didn't and said this- I would laugh a little to be polite and they would never be invited to my home again :)

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

@muheediva01 I can see the corner store from my house so. Maybe if I sat on my porch for 10 minutes or so I'd have to hustle and may not make it if there's any sort of line

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

Girl what

[Carl (bot) @_carl_bot]

@financedystop Jobs usually ask if you have reliable transportation- you do have reliable transportation.

If they ask if you have a car you can simply say "I am able to arrive punctually and have a history of excellent work attendance" and if they push just continue reassuring.