Charlotte Upham

I’m not lonely. I have me

[Charlotte Upham @_charknado]

Wash your hands friends - for Covid and in case a baby is determined to eat your hand, no matter how gross they apparently taste 🤣🤣

[Charlotte Upham @_charknado]

Quite thankful for this woman because I can use it as a standard to hold me to. If I am ever this loud, stupid and wrong about my child who was left behind on the timeline, I want to be taken out back and shot

[Kristi Fulnecky @KristiFulnecky]

@eternallyRaq You didn’t read the instructions. Opinion essay

[Charlotte Upham @_charknado]

@UofOklahoma Unsurprising statement from one of the lowest ranked states in education. Cowards and losers

[Zohran Kwame Mamdani @ZohranKMamdani]

@_anupa this shit took me forever

[P 🌻 @raisintinybabes]

Jesus Christ practiced radical empathy. Jesus Christ loved people.. He fed the masses.. He scorned those who took advantage of the poor.. He flipped tables. You cannot call yourself a Christian if you are rejoicing the idea of food stamps being cut.

[Charlotte Upham @_charknado]

I’ve been saying this after getting married, divorced, having a baby, buying a house and running several marathons. Should I get a masters next

[haley??? @midwest_it_girl]

already have a masters degree, already ran a marathon, have gotten and grown out bangs multiple times, almost moved to a foreign country and then dramatically decided to stay at the last minute…. literally what is left for me to do for attention

[Charlotte Upham @_charknado]

My child 30 seconds after he says he feels warm 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠and so it begins

[Charlotte Upham @_charknado]

@ColeGascon Gavin Newsom could get it

[els⁹ @joebrrw]

have you ever tried this one

[Charlotte Upham @_charknado]

For once the male instacart shopper worked out for me because I asked for a mini watermelon and got a regular size one so even a broken clock is right twice a day

[vibe instructor✌🏾🐝 @Vanessa_ABee]

omg did zohran also swim faster than you

[lexi misses joe burrow 😭 @lexi_burrow]

god i have seen what you have done for others and i have never asked you for anything so this is me on my knees begging you to drop joe burrow in my lap

[ilse⋆𖦹.✧˚ saw olivia @_ilseesk_zaza]

OH MY GOD

[Clara @clarabeepbeep]

Post McDonald's clarity is insane. Why did I do that

[Charlotte Upham @_charknado]

My workout instructor asked me - who is 31 -if I was graduating college this weekend and now I will tell anyone who will listen that my geriatric self was mistaken for a college student

[trash jones @jzux]

“use AI or you’ll get left behind” oh no that’s ok you guys go on ahead i’ll be back here with my reading comprehension and critical thinking skills

[Charlotte Upham @_charknado]

You really blink once and your son is a whole sports model right in front of you at 4 years old

[6len ʚїɞ @6len0022]

having one bf is risky what if he dies

[xtine 🚮 @xtinee]

I don’t have anyone to send romantic texts to so I’m just going to send them to spam bots

[Charlotte Upham @_charknado]

“You can just do things” is gonna change my life I already know it

[Ocho Drinko @ochodrinko85]

I’ve been considering running a half marathon, so today I downloaded Strava and set out for a long run (~6 miles) to gauge whether I’d be able to or not.

About 4 miles in, I decided to hell with that, I’ll run the bitch right now. Friendly reminder that you can just do things.