Claudia Reyes

🧩🇵🇭 she / her

[Claudia Reyes @_claud_r]

Is a sock a type of shoe?

[Claudia Reyes @_claud_r]

WAIT!
Just now realizing the lyric isn’t “Go little rockstar” it’s “Pope is a rockstar”?!?!?!?!
Is it just me or…?

[Claudia Reyes @_claud_r]

Growing up in south Florida I whined about love bug season for years. But that has nothing on caterpillar season in northcentral Florida 🤢 at least love bugs can’t hurt you

[Claudia Reyes @_claud_r]

Some guy was appalled that I was doing schoolwork at 7:00am at Starbucks. Sir, I’m taking 13 credit hours for my masters, working 30 hrs a week, and writing a thesis while my mental health hangs by a thread. 7am homework at Starbucks is a good day. Please don’t yuck on my yum 🥺

[Claudia Reyes @_claud_r]

I got so beat up at work today that the lady at the Starbucks drive thru window took one look at me and said, “Your drink is on us today.” 🥲

[Claudia Reyes @_claud_r]

Every time I visit my mom, I always shoot her a quick I love you “🤟🏽” as I drive away

And she always blows me a kiss a shoots me a llama “🤘🏽”

I will never correct her.

[Claudia Reyes @_claud_r]

Deleted TikTok last week and my screen time went down by 25%. I cleaned my apartment, cooked every meal and didn’t eat out, and have been starting my days faster.

But there is a music note shaped void in my life 😫

[Claudia Reyes @_claud_r]

Let’s be real, forget the gym and diets and all that. The best thing I can do for myself in 2022 is delete TikTok.

Imagine how productive I’ll be again!

[Claudia Reyes @_claud_r]

My job isn’t boring.
My best stories are just protected by HIPAA 🤫

[Claudia Reyes @_claud_r]

@lazrtAg7 Same but when I think “Babadook”

[Claudia Reyes @_claud_r]

Adding that “I” before “love you” hits different.

[Claudia Reyes @_claud_r]

The nursery rhyme never said Humpty Dumpty was an egg.

Food for thought.

[Claudia Reyes @_claud_r]

Hey! Hey you!

The Monopoly Man doesn’t wear a monacle🧐

#madelaeffect

[Claudia Reyes @_claud_r]

Do people who bake bread during quarantine think about other people in the house?

I’m a sedentary being forced to stay at home who eats when I’m bored, and you had the audacity to make the house smell BEAUTIFUL with a loaf of CARBS?!

I hate what you’re doing but don’t stop.

[Claudia Reyes @_claud_r]

They’re trying to end quarantine and I was supposed to re-emerge like a beautiful butterfly. But here I am...

the very hungry caterpillar 🐛

[FLORIDA @UF]

I said... RT if you agree

[Claudia Reyes @_claud_r]

Everybody gonna be comin out of this quarantine with self-cut bangs, bobs, and pixies 💇🏻‍♀️

[Claudia Reyes @_claud_r]

I wanna be one of those heroes who writes a short research paper and gets it published so that some lazy college student only has to read my two page paper and cite it 12 times in their final paper...

That’s my contribution to future generations.