Caitlyn Molinaro

[Liv :P @liv_username]

Ohhhh i get it. the beer is 12 dollars because it tastes weird

[Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg]

The biggest act of love u can do for ur parents is let them tell u the same pointless story over and over

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

you saw mommy kissing santa claus. the guy who killed grandma.

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

I don't make a ton of mistakes at work but when I do I make them in front of the same person every single time who must think I am the dumbest person ever to live

[WittySassBasket™ @WittySassBasket]

I have not willingly left a voicemail since 2007.

[avi steinbach @Muscles__McGee]

*me to a close lifelong friend*: how’s your job and also what is it

[Sydney Battle @SydneyBattle]

my parents are fighting bc my mom was letting a big spider live in the kitchen window bc he’s “perfect for halloween” and my dad killed it

[Caitlyn Molinaro @_cmx3]

@laura_bananas @calebsaysthings I would totally visit you for that haha

[kim @kimmycapehart]

Hate when people ask me where to get breakfast in Philly. Philly is not a breakfast town. I can tell you 4 bars that open at 7 am where you can smoke inside but I cannot recommend a place to eat breakfast

[gigi @420insidejob]

thinking about this

[Robert Schultz @_RobertSchultz]

Jeff Bezos is like “aren’t you jealous that I can go to space???” and it’s like, no dude, we’re jealous you can go to the hospital.

[Na💤eeh Tarsha @NazeehTarsha]

Cuatro leches?! En este economia?!

[Keefler @Keefler_Elf]

do you ever feel

like a plastic bag

filled with gasoline

[PFT Commenter @PFTCommenter]

When your fully prepared for a big job interview with your dad

[Joe Kwaczala @joekjoek]

Step-by-step how to do the “official” dance for Blister in the Sun by the Violent Femmes