mel

mmmmmm what to say

[mel @_coombez]

kiki vs bouba

[Jay Cuda @JayCuda]

yankees and mets logos w/ the letters separated

[Tommo @Sierra__Alpha]

Holidays cancelled. Kids crying. Nice one Kim you fat prick.

[THE lusty argonian maid @lindawg]

actually i think the elephant really ties the room together

[Ash @newashcamp]

The first step to recovery is addiction

[Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz]

I used to hate waiters until I realized they’re not just being nosy. They need to know what I want to eat so they can relay it to the kitchen staff

[Ellis @subuwustevens]

I like how "not my circus, not my monkeys" softly implies that you DO have a circus—perhaps even complete with monkeys—but this isn't it

[chlobuchar @me_im_chloe]

when I wake up in the morning on my couch with the lights on

[꩜ ⥉ 𝐣𝐞𝐰𝐞𝐥 ꩜ ⥉ moved accts! @apollodotorg]

i love going “streets are saying” before i say something i literally just made up

[Marshall Scott @Marshall__Scott]

Did we do it, did we save the daylight

[derek guy @dieworkwear]

when the sales associate tells me the price and i have to pretend i'll think about it

[Poe Zone 666 @PrairieIre]

They should make a high speed rail line between my house and my friends’ houses

[Roady @roadsoda69420]

picked up chicfila for some coworkers and they all said “damn they skimped on the fries today”

[pete @seegerism]

me when my google maps ETA goes up 2 minutes: ah well. so much in this life is beyond my control 🤷‍♂️😌

ne when my google maps ETA goes down 2 minutes: no doubt due to my unprecedented skill behind the wheel

[boe @bigsquishyfrog]

oh you're "genuinely curious"? should i call you george? get you a banana? fetch the man with the yellow hat?

[抱きしめる @F41rygirl]

[every bone in my body cracks as i rise from my chair] yes i would like to party

[regular sadmeister @gardeinqueen]

nooo im sure that relationship you got into that made you lose your best friends is good and healthy im sure of it

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

Pulled a muscle. Skedaddled when I should’ve moseyed.