Jacob Hinves

I'm a stay at home son.

[Jacob Hinves @_cornonthejacob]

@__eel__ Welcome to the dank side of the force

[Jacob Hinves @_cornonthejacob]

@Delta
Flight cancelled.
Put on new flight at a different airport.
Checked bag sent to baggage claim.
Told to board shuttle heading to new airport.
Shuttle left while I was waiting at baggage claim.

Trash Airline.

[Jacob Hinves @_cornonthejacob]

@Delta
Delays without explanation.
Changing gates without making announcements for passengers.
Constant maintenance issues on their aircrafts.
Asking passengers to pay twice for checked luggage.

Trash airline.

[Jacob Hinves @_cornonthejacob]

Just logging onto Twitter to give a shout out to @Delta. Easily the worst airline I've ever experienced.

[Jacob Hinves @_cornonthejacob]

I was super excited about my Ms. Pac Man score until I realized she only earned 76 points for every 100 earned by her husband.

[Jacob Hinves @_cornonthejacob]

That feeling you get when a stranger sits next to you on the bus even though there are plenty of seats in which they'd have no neighbor.

[Jacob Hinves @_cornonthejacob]

@GreatEscape_TO tonight with my CYW crew!

[Jacob Hinves @_cornonthejacob]

When you say a girl dresses hipster-grunge, you don't have to say she's a lesbian. That's like telling me the Toronto Star is a newspaper.

[Jacob Hinves @_cornonthejacob]

Brendan Fraser, now, looks like the villain in "The Mummy" before he gets his skin back.

[Jacob Hinves @_cornonthejacob]

When someone shows up to the party with regular Tostitos instead of Scoops I think, "What other poor decisions have you made in your life?"

[Jacob Hinves @_cornonthejacob]

If there isn't a Japanese pizza place called Japizza or Japanizza then like, what the hell.

[Jacob Hinves @_cornonthejacob]

The first peeping-Tom caught in plain sight took it as a word of advice when the cop questioning him said, "Don't beat around the bush."

[Jacob Hinves @_cornonthejacob]

Conception is the ultimate egg hunt.

[Jacob Hinves @_cornonthejacob]

I'm gonna run a marathon. Actually, my dvd player will be running, playing the Dark Knight trilogy and I'll be watching them from the couch.

[Jacob Hinves @_cornonthejacob]

One of the most inspiring and thought-provoking questions of our generation: "Is it on Netflix?"

[Jacob Hinves @_cornonthejacob]

If the fans of @lordemusic don't call themselves the Lorde Horde, I'm going to be so upset.

[Jacob Hinves @_cornonthejacob]

Just discovered a scar I've had my entire life. Amazing.

[Jacob Hinves @_cornonthejacob]

I swear to God, the way I trim my fingernails could trigger a war veteran's P.T.S.D. My bathroom basically turns into a battlefield.

[Jacob Hinves @_cornonthejacob]

Or, God forbid, I mistake a fupa for a baby bump.

[Jacob Hinves @_cornonthejacob]

I don't like offering my seat on the bus because I'm afraid the person will assume that I think they're elderly or handicapped.