DScanlon

[DScanlon @_danielwilliam_]

@Trawfit_

[Samantha Bee @iamsambee]

This is it. It’s the fucking fight of our lives.

[Andy Slavitt @ASlavitt]

BREAKING: The NBA just announced that all basketball arenas will he turned into 2020 voting locations.

Ample space for large amounts of people to vote safely.

[Mark Hamill @MarkHamill]

#MeetAnguishWithAction

[DScanlon @_danielwilliam_]

#NotToday

[DScanlon @_danielwilliam_]

I thought I was ready, then I watched this. Only 11 days to get ready

[Queer Eye @QueerEye]

YOU. ARE. NOT. READY. The Fab 5 is back with new heroes, more tears and, of course, 'holy sh*t' transformations. 💘Queer Eye returns March 15, only on Netflix. 🌈💫

[DScanlon @_danielwilliam_]

Team Coke #PepsiHalftime

[DScanlon @_danielwilliam_]

Easily the worst halftime show I’ve ever seen. Big Boi should have just done the whole thing #PepsiHalftime

[DScanlon @_danielwilliam_]

@_tonywashington

[Stephen A Smith @stephenasmith]

Haaaaaaaaa! I’m sooooo sorry I have to say this, but it’s a necessary message for the FANS....not the team that did have a good season: How ‘Bout Dem @dallascowboys! Haaaaaaaaaaaa! Take y’all asses HOME, Cowboys fans

[DScanlon @_danielwilliam_]

@_eyesack_

[ESPN @espn]

Willians Astudillo may have broken every single one of baseball's unwritten rules on one home run 🤣

[DScanlon @_danielwilliam_]

⁦@GovMurphy⁩

[DScanlon @_danielwilliam_]

@GovMurphy it took me 8 hours to complete what is normally a 30 minute trip home. How in that 8hours did I not see a single salt truck or plow, or evidence of salting or plowing, on the Turnpike, Parkway, or 280? Disgraceful

[DScanlon @_danielwilliam_]

@GovMurphy I hope the conditions of the Turnpike, Parkway, and 280 today aren’t previews of what this winter will be like. Absolute embarrassment

[DScanlon @_danielwilliam_]

@meilzonwheelz Oh of course

[DScanlon @_danielwilliam_]

@meilzonwheelz But you have to call “uno” when you have one card or you can’t win

[DScanlon @_danielwilliam_]

Sometimes I don’t feel that much older than my students. Then I reference BBM Pins and not a single person has a clue what I’m talking about

[DScanlon @_danielwilliam_]

@GooseIsland

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Stanley. He's looking for someone to help him reach his beer. Doesn't even like IPAs. Just wanted to look cool. 12/10 would assist

[DScanlon @_danielwilliam_]

@meilzonwheelz Of course but that doesn’t change the temperature of the wings

[DScanlon @_danielwilliam_]

Restaurant said their buffalo wings were mild. My lips now have their own pulse. Do I ask for a refund?