Ol’ Shan

my utero is soaked in bleach but nevermind

[Ol’ Shan @_daytrippr]

@eronniecato (Missed it by 4 minutes ugh!😅) Haha happy birthday Ronnie!! Hope you’re doing good, miss you!!!💕

[Ol’ Shan @_daytrippr]

@chewymarlon I almost just spat a Slurpee on the guy in line in front of me @ 7/11

[Ol’ Shan @_daytrippr]

@chewymarlon Even worse when said driver is next to you; in the same car. Or when someone drives super close to the concrete median, esp on when they're high off the ground. Tbh I used to be that speed demon doucher but prominent car accidents are traumatic af; should be a requirement lol.

[Ol’ Shan @_daytrippr]

@5k3l1t2 A screenshot hard copy, that's printed on 8×11 paper & laminated. And framed.

[Ol’ Shan @_daytrippr]

@eronniecato I know this is ridiculously late but happy belated birthday Ronnie aka best teacher in existence! Hope you're feeling young & hip as ever ;)

[Ol’ Shan @_daytrippr]

@5k3l1t2 Well yeah, but moose have hooves & weigh several tons. Plus, if stomping them out doesn’t work they can just punt it off a cliff🤷🏽‍♀️

[Ol’ Shan @_daytrippr]

@5k3l1t2 Moose are the creatures of nightmares & they destroy everything in their path.

[Ol’ Shan @_daytrippr]

One of my best pastimes: watching live police chases with my mom & the police taking so long we end up rooting for the criminal

[Ol’ Shan @_daytrippr]

Holy shit that comeback.😶

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

I wonder if the idea of the thong came from the first nerd to get a wedgie.

[Moronica Lewinsky @ihatejoerogan1]

How dare you drive the speed limit when I’m late to something due to my own poor time management skills

[Ol’ Shan @_daytrippr]

@tbhsantiago LOL same. Like 10min ago.

[Ol’ Shan @_daytrippr]

Stuck between ‘ok I’m gonna try & get better!’ & ‘screw it, we’re all gonna die someday.’

[Ol’ Shan @_daytrippr]

Ohhh boy...get ready for more Islamophobia..

[Ol’ Shan @_daytrippr]

@sh1tshann0nsays This was when we were going camping for Ana’s bday (exactly 5 years ago) & there was a turkey crossing the street in front of us!

[Ol’ Shan @_daytrippr]

I was standing in line at the DMV in the heat about to collapse, & some guy comes over, takes my stuff, & walks me over to the water fountain/bathroom.

There are good people left in this world.

[Ol’ Shan @_daytrippr]

@chewymarlon Ugh same 😔⚰️

[Ol’ Shan @_daytrippr]

Teachers are superheroes in disguise.

[Busted Flip Flops @GrillinChillin9]

A white lie is like a regular lie except it orders a grande, iced, sugar-free, vanilla latte, with soy milk from Starbucks.