Trans day of visibility March 2025 versus now. I would come out as detrans less than 3 months later. I firmly reject gender ideology. I was significantly questioning what I was doing by this photo. I had canceled phase 1 of phalloplasty & I was over infighting in the trans community.
Every time I see pictures of me larping as a man, it feels like a different life. Regret didn’t set in until year 7. I would caution anyone who wants to transition to understand that it won’t solve your problems.
August 2024 in Chicago to see Metallica. As you can see, I’m wearing a sun sleeve on my arm. That’s because I was in the process of getting laser and electrolysis on my arm in preparation for Phalloplasty (4 stage bottom surgery). I couldn’t get any sun on the skin where the hair was being removed. They remove the hair on your forearm because that’s where the skin graft for the fake penis comes from.
Every time I think about the fact that I almost mutilated my genitals, a chill goes down my spine. I was scheduled for phase 1 of Phallo on January 7, 2025. I cancelled the surgery, but I told them I’d be putting it on hold to think for another year. I never heard back from U of M hospital after that. However, I never looked back. Once I canceled it, I was seriously questioning being trans & what I was doing to myself.
Phalloplasty ultimately made me stop and reevaluate what I was doing with transition. It was the vaginectomy that started to get into my head. That’s where they rip out the vagina and sew it shut. I couldn’t go through with it. Mind you, it took one letter from a therapist and a 15 minute consult to get approved for a 4 part genital surgery.
Phalloplasty is barbaric and should be banned. It creates a horrible looking facsimile of a penis that’s non functional. It’s straight up mutilation.
Butch lesbians are totally a thing. So are masculine women in general. I’ve always been this way. Where I went wrong is thinking that I needed to become a facsimile of a man. The majority of public detrans women that I know of went to being feminine after detransitioning. I think that’s what people want and expect from someone like me. That’s just not me.
I used to be trans. I hate talking about it, but I feel obligated to because people think gender identity is real.
I decided not to transition. That doesn’t mean I explored my gender identity and figured it out, or that I was never trans—it means I was brainwashed by a social contagion and thankfully still had some sanity left before I took testosterone and harmed my body.
Here’s what you need to know. 🧵
Tomboy, not trans. When I moved from the style on the left to the style on the right, nothing about my personality or gender changed. I didn't do it because Im a lesbian. I did it because I find it easier to style men's clothing and I like the ability to change my hair often. I simply became comfortable styling myself. Still a woman. Still love pink and things that sparkle. I go feral for Target runs and Starbs. I hate yard work and I would love to be a home maker. Changing my clothing and hair did not change my gender. If anything, it affirmed to me that femininity comes from inside, and it's a beautiful thing.