devan

I try to act nonchalant but inside I’m actually chalant AF

[Barstool Big 12 @BarstoolBig12]

UCF Football

[devan @_devdev]

ucf looks like dogshit

[devan @_devdev]

I tried Instacart for the first time today and I fear I’ll never go to the grocery store again, it’s just too convenient it’s dangerous

[devan @_devdev]

it’s taking everything in me to not use the spongebob stamps on my wedding invitations

[devan @_devdev]

girl math: our wedding invites ended up being less expensive than we planned so we made money

[devan @_devdev]

gonna leave my corporate job and just make online pub sub orders

[devan @_devdev]

me every day

[Derrick Evans @DerrickEvans4WV]

What the heck is 6-7, what does it mean, & why are all the kids obsessed with this?

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

With Kimmel getting canned I’m seeing lots of people talking about the hypocrisy of cancel culture. To me Cancel culture is when people go out of their way to dig up old tweets, videos etc looking for dirt on somebody they don’t like in an effort to get them fired. Like if Kimmel got canceled for shit he did on the Man Show that would be cancel culture. But when a person says something that a ton of people find offensive, rude, dumb in real time and then that person is punished for it that’s not cancel culture. That is consequences for your actions

[devan @_devdev]

my windshield got smashed while I was driving tonight so that was cute

[devan @_devdev]

taylor paul being the next bachelorette has me fully locked back in because that’s going to be a shitshow

[CALEB PRESSLEY @calebpressley]

🍨 SUNDAE CONVERSATION 🍨

with @JaredGoff16

Presented by @WhiteClaw

[John Ewing @johnewing]

"Hey dad, what was 7 hours of commercial-free football like?"

Me:

[devan @_devdev]

good culture cottage cheese was finally back at publix today!!!

[devan @_devdev]

I say again, why is the sauna the most absurd place ever?

“please remove workout shoes”
*walks in with sneakers*

people shadow boxing, grunting, leaking their puddles everywhere, spraying scents, coughing

it’s a circus

[devan @_devdev]

wayyyyy too close but I’ll take it

[UCF Knights 🌴 @UCFKnights]

First Frost ➡️ First W

[devan @_devdev]

@lesleymachad0

[devan @_devdev]

imagine obsessing over someone getting engaged that you don’t even know, haven’t spoken to, and doesn’t know you exist

[devan @_devdev]

this is more important news than a celebrity engagement

[Cracker Barrel @CrackerBarrel]

We thank our guests for sharing your voices and love for Cracker Barrel. We said we would listen, and we have. Our new logo is going away and our “Old Timer” will remain.

At Cracker Barrel, it’s always been – and always will be – about serving up delicious food, warm welcomes, and the kind of country hospitality that feels like family. As a proud American institution, our 70,000 hardworking employees look forward to welcoming you to our table soon.

[Dr Sean Travers @seanjetravers]

Instead of texting ‘on my way’ I’m just gonna start sending this

[devan @_devdev]

we went to the zoo today and an otter ran by and jumped into the water and a lady asked us “was that a fish?”

yah the fish ran with its legs into the water