Dane.

You might not like what I say but you'll admire the way I say it.

[Dane. @_distilledwater]

A girl at work said she was born on a leap year and told us all she’s actually only 8 years old so I called her husband a pedophil and now she’s filed a complaint against me

[Dane. @_distilledwater]

#NewProfilePic

[Dane. @_distilledwater]

@immaKITKATBAR @StargazerLilium you do and you're grounded. See you in a few!

[Dane. @_distilledwater]

@immaKITKATBAR @StargazerLilium I'm getting mom and we're going to have a talk with you

[Dane. @_distilledwater]

@StargazerLilium @immaKITKATBAR Yes, Kat, what did you tweet?

[Dane. @_distilledwater]

Kat just told me Carly Rae Jepson's new single is called "Tonight I'm Getting Over You".
Presumably, he didn't call.

[Dane. @_distilledwater]

@Hakunasomev0dka Touché.

[Dane. @_distilledwater]

@Hakunasomev0dka Uh, you only have 5 children. Going senile already?

[Dane. @_distilledwater]

@Hakunasomev0dka haha, she's got the feathers and everything!

[Dane. @_distilledwater]

Between Lance, Tiger, and Oscar Pistorius we have fairly conclusive proof that Nike sponsorship makes people go bad. Damn you, checkmark!