Tolerating always turns to resentment. At first, you call it patience, then love. But what it really is, is self-abandonment. Every time you swallow a boundary, excuse a pattern, or silence your discomfort, something inside you keeps score. And eventually, the bill comes due.
It kinda makes me sad when i reflect back on instances where people knew exactly what they were doing and how it would hurt me and went ahead anyway. The ease of being casually so insidious will never not shock me.
self-isolation has always been my coping mechanism. i've always dealt with things by keeping to myself. sometimes, i feel the need to disappear from everyone without saying anything.
it's not that i don't like being around people, but there are times when life feels too overwhelming, and i just want to be alone. in those moments, silence feels safer than explanations. space helps me breathe, think, and slowly heal. i don't shut people out to hurt them. i do it to protect what little energy i have left, until i'm ready to return again
At this point in my life, it doesn't matter how much I love you, how long l've known you, how much we've experienced together. If I feel a way about your actions, I'm gracefully removing myself from your life. I can't change anyone and I don't want to. I'm noticing now more than ever how people move and there's just certain things I no longer want to put my energy into. People do exactly what they want regardless of your feelings, advice or opinions. Some people don't notice your impact until your presence is no longer at their convenience
i think I lost my spark. I talk less, I keep to myself, I've mastered distance. I'm not angry, I'm not bitter. I just don't have the energy to show up like I used to. Somewhere along the way, I slipped into this I don't care phase.