Your pores are fine. Your weight is fine. Your hair is fine. Your brows are fine. Your toes are fine. Your knees are fine. Your upper arms are fine. Your calves are fine. Your ass is fine. Your breasts are fine. Your jawline is fine. Your shoulders are fine. Your clothes are fine. Your style is fine. Your taste is fine. Your preferences are fine. It’s fine. It’s fine, babe. It’s all fine.
You know what's gross? Women get addressed by Miss, Mrs., or Ms. because society deems it important to know if she is single, married or widowed. Men, on the other hand, are only addressed as Mr. because their relationship to women does not affect their social status.
We heard Nandi loud and clear. Her point was that Black men deserve grace because the system crushes them hardest: no money, no government support, 400 years of stacked odds, and constant pressure to succeed.
Our point is this: that same system hits Black women just as hard, often harder. Patriarchy. Single motherhood. Unpaid care work. Higher poverty rates. Sky high GBV risks but when women survive those exact conditions through informal hustles or sex work just to feed their families, they are shamed. Insulted. Called slurs. Told they have no dignity.
So men deserve grace for trying, but women are humiliated for trying to survive? You cannot demand grace from women while denying it to them in the same breath. That is selective empathy.
Grace is not a one way demand from women to men. It has to be mutual. Otherwise it is just another burden placed on the group that is already carrying the most.