helen (helen)

not now

[helen (helen) @_hp___]

Drinking game called shut up where u take a drink every time the woman downstairs screams shut up and down your drink if the man says cunt

[helen (helen) @_hp___]

Imagine an ikea but it's only open at night!!!!!

[helen (helen) @_hp___]

@kirsty_hulme Some purples can pass, I remember it being a pretty reasonable grape tone

[helen (helen) @_hp___]

Purple is objectively the worst colour and if you don't agree you're dead to me

[helen (helen) @_hp___]

How about next time u feel like cancelling someone on the Internet u put a pound in the cancel jar instead and at the end of the month give it to a charity that actually deals with the issues.

[helen (helen) @_hp___]

@elliemhairie As many days as points u would get for putting Ellen in scrabble

[helen (helen) @_hp___]

@elliemhairie They always think we are both Ellen

[helen (helen) @_hp___]

Just realised people always think I've said my name is Ellen and I just agree cos what bloody difference does it make anyway

[helen (helen) @_hp___]

If I see another old person cowering as I pass them in the street I'm gonna freak. Get back to doing up the conservatory Sandra your Waitrose club card won't save you now u big old slag

[helen (helen) @_hp___]

Only 2 votes how can I possibly console myself

[helen (helen) @_hp___]

Who u gonna email first in hope of remembering that feeling of human connection

[Audrey Kaufman @KaufmanAudrey]

I miss recoiling from human touch 🥺

[helen (helen) @_hp___]

Yes hello make way for the pretty lady

[helen @helen]

the H in Helen stands for Helen. anybody else notice this with their names?

[helen (helen) @_hp___]

2020: The year your dad finally leaves your mum for the dehumidifier

[helen (helen) @_hp___]

So a whole day has passed and I haven’t yet kicked a single person up the bottom - poor start. Better luck today.

[helen (helen) @_hp___]

My New Years Resolution is to kick more people up the bottom

[helen (helen) @_hp___]

@kirsty_hulme @74frankfurt Fintry garage is famous now