Panashe

| CHELSEA FC || CAPS UNITED FC || @ChelseaFC || @capsunitedfczw || I’m here to laugh and lie |

[Àshàké(not Ololade)❤️ @Molayoo_]

You just know she handpicked her parents😭😭

[sobho @SoupLorrd]

Settling for socks and mid rounds on birthdays is a choice.

[6ɪx✦ @ok6ixx]

My neighbor knocked on my door at 11pm holding a casserole and said "I need you to pretend we're friends." Her in-laws were visiting and she'd apparently been lying about having friends in the building because they think she's too isolated. She promised them she had a "close friend next door" and they demanded to meet me. I was in pajamas. She offered me $40. So I took the casserole, went over, and met Dale and Patricia. Somehow I got absorbed into this lie for three hours. I made up stories about our "friendship." I said we had book club. They asked what we were reading and I PANICKED and said "the Bible." We don't look like a Bible study group. My neighbor is covered in tattoos. But her mother-in-law got so excited and now we have to actually do Bible study every week because Patricia is visiting monthly to join us. We tried to read Genesis last night and got into a 45-minute argument about whether Noah's ark had dinosaurs. This is my life now.

[7rq @gloccnim]

IM CRYING 😭

[Panashe @_iampanashe]

@FayMware 😂😂😂😂😂

[Kusi Costanza @AntifaCostanza]

Cruising down the highway in manual is just that, you move up to 5th gear and stay there, idk what the fuck she's doing.

[Panashe @_iampanashe]

@hodelvine @BootieGoonie @taiwo2turnt @rinmaxxing 😂😂😂

[El Jay @yours__jay]

Date cancelled, her mom is still alive. Ndoiwanepi mombe yeumai zvangu ini.

[Trevor Fraley @illustrevor]

I've seen enough. Dye her hair white

[Lion @LionInCrisis]

she can fix me

[Yours_Mel @TheRealMamoyo]

Kuti Baba vaya vaigara vachihwina mota kuOK grand challenge ndovakabrokesa OK

[only 1 uzama @KaiUzama]

My mum just reminded me of when my primary school teacher called my parents and reported I was holding students hostage 😭

We received results on a math test & you know how teachers would humiliate people who did poorly? I felt so bad for them so during break time I rounded up all the students that did bad & refused to let them go on lunch break, I decided I was going to start teaching them math *by force* & some kids were crying that they wanted to go and play. I kept asking them why they wanted to play when they were failing. I even recruited a class mate to catch kids that escaped. Omg I was a terrorist 😭

Eventually some students escaped & went to report me to the principal 😔

[Heidi @HeidiBriones]

He said, "Google me."

[MASTER STUDENT🤲🏾 @MUSICANDBUILDS]

MY NIGGA SAID

[E🎀 @ElsSaidIt]

Ke SMEG nthwe😭😭

[𝒥𝑅! @jr_mdg_]

when I say "ima call you later" i mean like later on in life not today

[slay @nemesis09066]

I told my boss I was going to use the toilet but didn't say which one. Now I'm at home

[Brother’s keeper @gary_the_sun]

This is living ( personal preferences)