kvngdee

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[DailySexSupply 📦 @DailySexSupply]

nigga in the back just casually walking around 😂

[Niq’ Nostalgia💎 @_KeeBabii]

In order for me to feel some type of way about anything , I have to care first 🤔 but I don't😌 😂 that was cute though baby 😏😘

[DailySexSupply 📦 @DailySexSupply]

NAHHHHHHH 😂😂😂 https://t.co/U9SR2tQpuh

[TB ☆ @envyshvy]

i don't have time for BS. you start acting crazy ima cut yo ass off with a snap of a finger 💯 and act like i never met you!

[kvngdee @_kvngdee_3]

Bae really do the absolute most

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

[playing with a teddy bear]

6-year-old: Why can't we have a real bear?

Me: It would eat people.

6: What if they're people I don't like?

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

4-year-old: Why do rabbits always eat carrots?

Me: It's their favorite food.

4: Someone should tell them about pizza.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Baby: *stays awake all day*

Me: She'll sleep all night

Baby: *stays awake all night*

Me: She'll sleep tomorrow

Baby:*never sleeps again*

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

It's amazing how perfect parents spend all their time and energy on their kids yet still manage to be online all day judging everybody else.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

[on a walk]

Me: Hurry up.

6-year-old: It's a sidewalk, not a side run.

Me: *slows way down*

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

[creating toddlers]

Angel: This thing is evil. No one will take care of it.

God: I'll make it super cute.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Protip: Before you try to scam someone on Facebook, read "Lord of the Rings."

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

4-year-old: Why do I always have to share the cookies?

Me: If you don't, you won't have any friends.

4: But I will have all the cookies.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

4-year-old: I was a good girl at preschool.

Me: You should be a good girl at home, too.

4: I can't do it all day.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

6-year-old: I can't believe it. My teacher gave me homework.

Me: What did you think would happen?

6: I thought we were friends.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Me: I told you to go to your room.

4-year-old: I don't want to get lost.

Me: You've lived here your entire life.

4: That's not very long.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

My toddler hit my wife's butt with a drumstick

I was mature & didn't make a joke about tapping that ass

Just kidding

I'll be on the couch