Elana Samuels

argumentative, antithetical dream girl

[Elana Samuels @_lanabeth]

When I say “I’m not like other girls” what I mean is “I am not like the 53% of white women who voted for Trump.“

[Elana Samuels @_lanabeth]

It’s fine. I can diy with the best of them

[Elana Samuels @_lanabeth]

I am so desperate for a Nick Saban reaction cam in the corner of my screen rn

#RoseBowl

[Elana Samuels @_lanabeth]

I am so desperate for a Nick Saban reaction cam in the corner of my screen rn

#RoseBowl

[Elana Samuels @_lanabeth]

Motherhood is getting your brake pads changed simply for your child’s safety, because if it weren’t for him, you’d say fuck it until those pads failed entirely.

[Elana Samuels @_lanabeth]

Penn State’s mascot looks like a bear drawn by a 7 year old.

(Picture of what the Internet claims is a “nittany lion” for reference.)

Idk what a nittany lion is, but I feel confident it isn’t that thing.

[Elana Samuels @_lanabeth]

My husband: yeah—fuck YOU, Brian Kelly. 😠

Me: and FUCK you, Marcus Freeman🥵

[Elana Samuels @_lanabeth]

My newborn apparently thinks he’s in a live-action remake of Ratatouille.

In this remake, he’s Remy, and I’m his puppet Chef Linguini.

My hair may never grow back….

[Elana Samuels @_lanabeth]

@madibrowder I have the texts to prove the Vol hate too

[Elana Samuels @_lanabeth]

Just say you wanted Alabama in, Kirk…

[Awful Announcing @awfulannouncing]

"Indiana was outclassed in that game. It was not a team that should've been on that field when you consider other teams that could've been there. It's no knock on Indiana..." - Kirk Herbstreit

[Elana Samuels @_lanabeth]

@madibrowder Big same

[Elana Samuels @_lanabeth]

The best defense to Florida State is Florida State’s offense

[Elana Samuels @_lanabeth]

I do my worst thinking and my best crying in the shower

[Elana Samuels @_lanabeth]

Okay…

Is it possible that Norvell thinks he’s getting a top draft pick….?

Are we sure he knows that college teams don’t participate in the draft (outside of supplying players)…?

Can we check…? Pls…?

[NFL @NFL]

FINAL: @Browns pull off the upset! #BALvsCLE

[Elana Samuels @_lanabeth]

This is why I won’t delete Facebook

[Cooper @Cooperstreaming]

I saw a guy on TikTok say you can't "mental health" your way out of accountability, and I want to scream it from the rooftops.

Mental health issues don't give you free reign to hurt people and not take responsibility.

[Elana Samuels @_lanabeth]

Time to pull Amari Cooper off the field.

#DawgPound
#Browns

[Elana Samuels @_lanabeth]

This is the least excited I’ve been for a Florida State win… I was really excited in the first quarter, but that feeling faded quickly.

This program has a long season ahead of it…

[FSU Football @FSUFootball]

SACK ON 4TH DOWN BY EDWIN JOSEPH!!!!

#Noles take over on downs with :54 seconds left!

CAL 9, FSU 14

#NoleFamily | #KeepCLIMBing

[Elana Samuels @_lanabeth]

Cannot believe that I am agreeing with Nick Saban 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Lance @LM_Sports_Media]

Nick Saban woke up and chose violence this morning and spoke the truth about Florida and Florida State.

[NFL @NFL]

FINAL: @Browns come out on top in Jacksonville #CLEvsJAX

[Elana Samuels @_lanabeth]

TAKE THE EXTRA POINT FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

You are NOT consistent enough to go for 2 when you’re down by 2 possessions.

[FSU Football @FSUFootball]

Roydell Williams carries it 4yds for the TOUCHDOWN!

Q3: 7:05 | Mem 20, FSU 9
#NoleFamily | #KeepCLIMBing