Lethe

she/her, 19, virtual diary

[Lethe @_lethonomia]

★ ྀི ◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི ◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི
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:¨ ·.· ¨:
`· . An archive of my disordered rambles
˚✧₊⁎
*･゜ﾟ･*:.

[Lethe @_lethonomia]

I’m going to bash my skull against the wall until the world is beautiful again

[Lethe @_lethonomia]

the lover never wins, I’m stuck giving my heart to someone who only ever wanted a warm body to touch. and it takes me way too long to figure that out. why do I always have to see the good in people, give them the benefit of the doubt? stupid girl, this is your own fault.

[Lethe @_lethonomia]

I know how this goes, it always goes the same way. so why can’t I stop myself from liking someone in the first place? it’s so stupid, I’ve learned by now that love is just something that won’t ever happen for me. so when will my heart learn that too?

[Lethe @_lethonomia]

I’m dead serious when I say I would rather never experience romantic attraction ever again than, go through the same cycle of falling for someone only to then be rejected by them. I’m sick and tired of it, and I should know better than to think that maybe this time it will be ok.

[Lethe @_lethonomia]

I don’t want to feel love anymore, please remove it from my brain. I’m so sick of getting attached to people, only for them to leave me just as quickly as they came into my life.

[Lethe @_lethonomia]

if I’m so important to you like you say I am why do you ignore me for hours on end when I know you’re not doing anything else

[Lethe @_lethonomia]

sometimes when I see myself I get freaked out almost, like that’s not me, there’s no way that’s me, I don’t look like that, who is that

[Lethe @_lethonomia]

something is so deeply wrong with me, I feel like I’m not a person anymore. maybe I wasn’t ever one to begin with

[Lethe @_lethonomia]

telling myself it’s all my fault is the only way to rationalize what’s happened to me at this point

[Lethe @_lethonomia]

tried to look at myself in the mirror and started crying

[k @meowerser]

i wasn’t loved as a child sorry

[Lethe @_lethonomia]

I won’t bother you by asking why you never came, I’ll just continue to wait for you like always. I’m here for you whenever you want to see me. lately it feels like you don’t want to see me that much. hopefully your life is just busy and it’s nothing else.

[Lethe @_lethonomia]

you broke a promise for the third time in a row. I really wanted to see you today, I spent time getting ready. I waited for you for hours, why didn’t you at least talk to me? what did I do wrong? just tell me please. or did you just get busy? I’m sorry, I won’t bother you.

[Lethe @_lethonomia]

I know I’m not pretty, I want to be pretty so bad.

[Lethe @_lethonomia]

I’ll be ok, I’ll always be ok, please stop worrying about me. it makes this next part hurt even more.

[Lethe @_lethonomia]

please forget about me, I think it would make your life easier.

[Lethe @_lethonomia]

how do I take white out and go over every mention of me in everyone’s lives

[mra @mramwany]

i wish i meant more to you

[Lethe @_lethonomia]

if my memory has to be this bad why can I forget the things that hurt the most to remember?