Lex♋️

probably thinking about margaritas and tacos

[Lex♋️ @_lexuh_]

I haven’t been to this one bar since St patricks day when I ate a bouncers sandwich. Tonight I went back to that bar, saw the same bouncer, he looked me dead in the eye and says “you’re the one who ate my corn beef sandwich”

[Lex♋️ @_lexuh_]

Thanks to @WendyWilliams my mom had to look up the song My Neck, My Back... my mother listened to the whole song and then looked at me and said “ Have you heard this song!?” To put it simply Loretta yes I have, I would listen to it on the bus on the way to school.

[Lex♋️ @_lexuh_]

@4thDiamonds If she doesn’t know why people are quarantining She’s too young for you bro

[Lukas @Lukas_Miedreich]

This is the 2021 energy.

[Lex♋️ @_lexuh_]

@bendover631 Do you feel better about yourself?

[Lex♋️ @_lexuh_]

An actual conversation between my parents
Pete: Loretta I got you another bottle of Tito’s
*Loretta looks at bottle*
Loretta: NEVER come into this house with a bottle of Tito’s that isn’t a handle, this bottle wont even last a week!
Pete: Drink up and I’ll buy you a handle next

[Lex♋️ @_lexuh_]

I walked into my boyfriend’s kitchen on my lunch break to a lit candle, breakfast scones, and a wine glass filled with water. 🥺 #itsthelittlethings

[Lex♋️ @_lexuh_]

Me: Are you both seriously peeing on my floor right now?
3 year old boy #1: Yeah, look my pee puddle is bigger!
*me about to lose my shit*
3 year old boy #2: he told me to pee on the floor!!
THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY

[Lex♋️ @_lexuh_]

@4thDiamonds FUCKING LIVING FOR THIS

[Lex♋️ @_lexuh_]

Honestly I’m yet to find a strength greater than an angry 3 year old... these little kids really do turn into the hulk when they’re angry

[Lex♋️ @_lexuh_]

@4thDiamonds Oh oh or the time you told me that “Some girl with an ass the size of a Volkswagen just messaged me on tinder”. Like where the fuck do you come up with these 😂😂😂

[Lex♋️ @_lexuh_]

@4thDiamonds Breakin backs like glow sticks is still to this day my favorite one

[Lex♋️ @_lexuh_]

@KearneyT28 We out here livin the damn dream

[Lex♋️ @_lexuh_]

@KearneyT28 LMFAO

[Lex♋️ @_lexuh_]

I really need to stop walking around work singing WAP

[Lex♋️ @_lexuh_]

@foreverx_ YAAAY!! Congrats! 💗

[Lex♋️ @_lexuh_]

The real motivation behind my runs @greatsouthbay

[Lex♋️ @_lexuh_]

When you sit just thinking of something and end up sitting there smiling like an idiot not even realizing until someone points it out.... that right there is so pure