Miles Moody musings

The collected wisdom of Miles Moody

[Miles Moody musings @_lifeofmiles]

I'm much faster than I think I am.

[Miles Moody musings @_lifeofmiles]

Can't believe the school blocked all my favorite blackjack websites.

[Miles Moody musings @_lifeofmiles]

Gotta be honest, my favorite Avenger has gotta be Spider-Man.

[Miles Moody musings @_lifeofmiles]

You know what Skyler, you can take your earth toned elitist bullshit somewhere else.

[Miles Moody musings @_lifeofmiles]

Christmas music always brings out the worst aspects of my personality.

[Miles Moody musings @_lifeofmiles]

My theme music is "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns N' Roses.

[Miles Moody musings @_lifeofmiles]

I don't think smoking weed is cool, and I think vaping is idiotic.

[Miles Moody musings @_lifeofmiles]

My parents are pretty impressive. You might have guessed that, given that their combination of genes resulted in me.

[Miles Moody musings @_lifeofmiles]

I don't eat Smartfood. Miserable fucking excuse for popcorn.

[Miles Moody musings @_lifeofmiles]

Hey, Tate, you know who I hope you grow up to be? James Garfield. So you get shot in the gut and die slowly over the course of 80 days.

[Miles Moody musings @_lifeofmiles]

Actually I'm going to go home and fantasize about beating your head into a bloody pulp.

[Miles Moody musings @_lifeofmiles]

I'm gonna go home and binge-watch Sons of Anarchy.

[Miles Moody musings @_lifeofmiles]

I bet my fetal pig was larger than yours. I dissected the largest fetal pig.

[Miles Moody musings @_lifeofmiles]

If I murdered you and called it a suicide, people would totally believe it, just saying.

[Miles Moody musings @_lifeofmiles]

I'd like to wish you all a Happy Miles Day, in celebration of the date of my birth.

[Miles Moody musings @_lifeofmiles]

I'm going to have a polar bear in my college dorm.

[Miles Moody musings @_lifeofmiles]

Not smart enough for the full suite of Miles Moody scholarships, are we?

[Miles Moody musings @_lifeofmiles]

Face-swap me and Ted Cruz. You can't tell the difference.

[Miles Moody musings @_lifeofmiles]

I, too, own an 18" cheese cloth. I use it as a target for my throwing knives.

[Miles Moody musings @_lifeofmiles]

I meet all the requirements to be a politician. Handsome? Yes. Taller than 5'6"? Yes. Sociopath? Yes...