@AphantasticR@TrashPandaRabie How does ‘catching romantic feelings’ work though if the people are already friends and already have sex? Are those not already sufficient in your definition of romantic feelings? Surely if you have sex with a friend you are in a romantic relationship as you have both elements?
@AphantasticR@TrashPandaRabie All resources are pooled - all decisions are mutual (in some cases the process is ceded from one to the other) - when I need support I receive it, when he needs it I give it. We stand together, protect each other - we are separate people but one unit.
@AphantasticR@TrashPandaRabie I would argue that your description of parental love (particularly the concept of sacrifice) is very close to how I view romantic love. My husband and I sacrifice over and over again for each other. We do it joyfully with no expectations. We give everything to each other.
@AphantasticR@TrashPandaRabie What differential behaviour would you accept? How do you, for example, differentiate between a friend and an acquaintance? To me much of this is about degree. Do you believe every relationship is friendship? How does that differ from familial love? Or doesn’t it?
@AphantasticR@TrashPandaRabie Hilariously we often don’t sleep in the same bed, even at home (very different sleeping patterns). I don’t know why you made that assumption at all. We’re still the first person each of us sees and greets on waking, and says goodnight to before sleeping.
@AphantasticR@TrashPandaRabie I never claimed it was exclusionary criteria? In fact I never mentioned sharing a bed at all. I feel like we’re speaking completely at cross purposes.
@AphantasticR@TrashPandaRabie I have shared beds with friends and family many times. The article you link is interesting as in most cases the bed-sharing described is forced through circumstance. Where it isn’t, it is portrayed more like a ‘sleep-over’ where you wake up and chat to your friends.
@AphantasticR@TrashPandaRabie Do you do all these things (and more) daily with one or more friends that you don’t have sex with? Do you want to? Do you know many people who do these things and don’t consider the relationship romantic?
@AphantasticR@TrashPandaRabie I don’t know how to sum up a relationship of almost 25 years (and 20 years of marriage) in so few words. We are separate but we aren’t. We do our own things, have our own interests, our own friends, but choose each other over and over.
@AphantasticR@TrashPandaRabie We cook each other’s favourite foods, take care of each other when we’re sick, plan our lives together, make mutual decisions, support each other, challenge each other daily. We prioritise each other’s happiness. We want to be in each other’s company all the time.
@AphantasticR@TrashPandaRabie I mean, yes that’s completely true. There are people who marry who do not love each other at all! Not sure why that makes the idea of “romantic love” that excludes sexual desire/sexual activity/sexual attraction (delete as appropriate) a lie.
@AphantasticR@TrashPandaRabie I have many friends. My romantic (non-friendship, non-sexual) love for my husband of 20 years eclipses any other friend-love so greatly that it is not comparable. (And I love my friends!)
@AphantasticR The concept of asexuality (and of course the reality of it) predates tumblr. In fact the sex/romance split was discussed LONG before tumblr with the concept of romantic friendships (generally homoromantic).
On Saturday evening members of the Trinity College Cambridge community gathered to celebrate the illumination of the Wren Library to mark the start of LGBTQ+ Pride Month.
Happy Pride! 🏳️🌈