Margaret

I’m The Funniest Person I Know C L E ✌ IG: _margaretr0se

[Margaret @_margaretr0se]

Canada: where people water their driveways, display the amount of calories in every food item listed on the menu, and polite AF

[Margaret @_margaretr0se]

How do you throw out a garbage can?

[Margaret @_margaretr0se]

🎵MR HERO!… IT GOES STRAIGHT THROUGH YOU🎵

[Margaret @_margaretr0se]

From someone who works/worked in the restaurant industry- #TheBearFX is the perfect blend of (traumatizing) comedy and (existential) drama.

[Margaret @_margaretr0se]

For those who still take cabs from the airport, why does it always sound like there’s a giant gum ball rolling around in a cupholder somewhere?

[Margaret @_margaretr0se]

@TulsiGabbard @joshtalons_

[Margaret @_margaretr0se]

Looking back on my tweets. I want to retweet most of them. They’re so good.

[Margaret @_margaretr0se]

Spring is right around the corner, in 6 weeks.

[Margaret @_margaretr0se]

I still think 2021 is last year

[Margaret @_margaretr0se]

Law and Order SVU:

Perp:”She seduced me.”

Detective Stabler: “……she was 11.”

[Margaret @_margaretr0se]

No one will avoid you harder than the one who knows they’ve wronged you.

[Margaret @_margaretr0se]

@nebulakiing I’m going March 17-21!

[Margaret @_margaretr0se]

The funny thing about common sense is that it’s not common.

[Margaret @_margaretr0se]

The most stressful time in my every day life is hitting “Skip Intro”

[Margaret @_margaretr0se]

Ok, it’s time for a vacation.

[Margaret @_margaretr0se]

The CDC recommends you give in to peer pressure and politics.

[Margaret @_margaretr0se]

Camila Cabello rhymed Havana, Atlanta, and manners and became a millionaire?

[Margaret @_margaretr0se]

@Camila_Cabello you rhymed Havana, Atlanta, and manners and became a millionaire?

[Margaret @_margaretr0se]

A police officer asking a person to recite the ABC’s backwards during a sobriety test is equivalent to them giving you a Rubik’s cube asking you to solve it.

[Margaret @_margaretr0se]

You never run out of time. Time continues.