maya

[maya @_maya________]

To the professor in the neighboring office who started blasting classical piano today.. you will never drown out my pusha T

[Degraciá 🍉 @xohhhh_]

He a hater, YES I DID

[maya @_maya________]

Me: how the fuck does the bakery guy recognize me I come in once a month
Also me: *has hot pink hair in the upper east side*

[maya @_maya________]

Some of us want ski bindings, some of us want socks, Sergey wants a $300 teapot

[maya @_maya________]

All I wanted was a cool sweater, tell me why no one showed me this until AFTER I confirmed my order

[maya @_maya________]

The quick spiral out of Harry Styles straight into Freddie Gibbs is.. something

[maya @_maya________]

Me: people kept speaking Dutch to me I guess the pink hair doesn’t really scream American
My boss: yea I mean it would make total sense w the Netherlands given the red light district and such

[maya @_maya________]

How do you say “MVP” in European

[Washington Examiner @dcexaminer]

Russian Consulate vandalized in New York City https://t.co/YyeE9yL5mT

[Mike G @GoMikeG]

Rakeem Miles x Sean Wotherspoon x Pac Sun in stores today!

[maya @_maya________]

NOT MY LANDLORD LEGIT TRYING TO FORGE DOCUMENTS @NYCMOPT

[maya @_maya________]

WHO LET ME MISS __FIVE__ DAYS OF RUN THE JEWELS AT MSG

[Sean Speezy @sean_speezy]

What’s wrong, babe? You’re not taking any Jong rips

[Doc 🥇 @backendoc]

thought i had some hood nigga as my uber eats driver last night

[sim🦂 @yourgirlsimran]

@chocolatadisco OMG no bc why did mine do bear like this😂😭😭

[maya @_maya________]

“I’m never gonna find a boyfriend because I can’t quote SpongeBob”

[clintoris @clintoris]

Coming out as a cis het guy who likes burgers and pussy

[G @Gtoowavyy]

“Wyd after work?” going to sleep bro I’m not Spiderman