i don’t need to be doing better than anybody to feel good about where i’m at. i’ve got my own testimony, my own timing & blessings with my name on ‘em. i can admire what God is doing in somebody else’s life without questioning what He’s doing in mine.
I was so in love with you that I was scared to block you incase you needed me one day. Even after everything, a part of me still worried about you. I still cared about whether you were okay, whether life was treating you kindly and whether you had someone to turn to when things got hard. That’s the thing about loving someone deeply, even when they’ve hurt you, your first instinct is to still care about them. You find yourself worrying about the same person you’re trying to heal from, still making room for them in your heart long after they’ve stopped making room for you in their life. But I’m learning that I can care about someone and choose distance. I can wish you well without remaining accessible to you. I can hope life is gentle with you without being the person who has to make it that way. I loved you enough to worry about you even after you hurt me. Now I’m learning to love myself enough to stop making myself responsible for your well-being.