E dawg

but what can god do for MY glory

[E dawg @_medium_idiot_]

Who let me be the appalling mix of gym bro, gamer, and theater kid

[E dawg @_medium_idiot_]

Norse mythology is underrated!!!

Oh god this tweet isn’t gonna do numbers f

[E dawg @_medium_idiot_]

I’m just saying I think there was something better for my ovaries to turn into than THESE

[E dawg @_medium_idiot_]

I’m only 75% sure which is the mortar and which is the pestle

[E dawg @_medium_idiot_]

Girlfriend not home time for OVERHEAD LIGHT 😈😈😈

[E dawg @_medium_idiot_]

Do bicyclers know they don’t have to dress like that

[E dawg @_medium_idiot_]

Happy short kings day

[E dawg @_medium_idiot_]

I 👏wasn’t 👏that👏ugly👏I👏just👏needed👏a👏haircut👏

[E dawg @_medium_idiot_]

Death Cab for Rudolph be like “Illuuuminate the Nose”

[E dawg @_medium_idiot_]

@ProdCaste Balatro but the screen is bigger

[E dawg @_medium_idiot_]

When the drink starts tasting like those two birds in the bush look WAYYYY cooler than this stupid bird in my hand

[Paladin Posting @DevotionOath]

I KEEP BEING CALLED AN OATHBREAKER FOR HAVING SEX. NO WHERE IN MY OATH DID I PROMISE TO BE A LOSER

[E dawg @_medium_idiot_]

Apparently HR Doesn’t like when you shout Get in Mah BELLYYYY at the company pizza party

[E dawg @_medium_idiot_]

I like that pokemon made Alakazam and then immediately decided to make Alakazam but Worse

[E dawg @_medium_idiot_]

Son of a b**** is crazy because even when we’re attacking men we attack the women

[E dawg @_medium_idiot_]

Dam so we the goats of college football?

[E dawg @_medium_idiot_]

I think they made the devils fiddle part way too fire it’s lowkey a toss up who wins that

[E dawg @_medium_idiot_]

Why did they make grovyle so much cooler than sceptile

[E dawg @_medium_idiot_]

Shakespearean Obama be like “let me be Lear”

[E dawg @_medium_idiot_]

I hate when I switch keyboard to type a number like 2-!: 5):’ 85 :5-6:$

[E dawg @_medium_idiot_]

Well you neglected to mention that the gems were uncut… 😏