Uncle “Uncle Mike” Mike

Colorblind but the mountains are blue | I’m a hairy chested hard bodied beer drinker | Unofficial @WHOOP brand ambassador

[Uncle “Uncle Mike” Mike @_mikesburner_]

Never seen a more obviously hungover group than the Red Sox right now

[Uncle “Uncle Mike” Mike @_mikesburner_]

Hey hon help us settle a bet, do you be shittin with that thang?

[Uncle “Uncle Mike” Mike @_mikesburner_]

My boy pulled up to the local hibachi joint in an Aaron Hernandez Florida jersey

[Uncle “Uncle Mike” Mike @_mikesburner_]

I’m covered in generic Walgreens coconut oil, drinking margaritas on my patio with spherical ice cubes; we are not the same.

[Uncle “Uncle Mike” Mike @_mikesburner_]

I’m buying zyns you’ve never heard of from Indians who’s names you can’t pronounce

[Uncle “Uncle Mike” Mike @_mikesburner_]

Five guys nuts in my mouth right now

[Uncle “Uncle Mike” Mike @_mikesburner_]

Joe from impractical jokers assassinated Charlie Kirk that’s why he so quiet.

[Uncle “Uncle Mike” Mike @_mikesburner_]

Rest in peace Tony Keith, you would’ve loved this war with Iran.

[Uncle “Uncle Mike” Mike @_mikesburner_]

@tatemcrae do you fw dudes who get drunk on Tuesdays?

[Uncle “Uncle Mike” Mike @_mikesburner_]

Fresh cut, who easy?

[Uncle “Uncle Mike” Mike @_mikesburner_]

Life’s funny. One night you’re doing blow off a guys student ID, the next you’re drinking water out of his bitches Stanley cup after giving her the worst two minutes of her life.

[Uncle “Uncle Mike” Mike @_mikesburner_]

I speak English not BINGO

[Flubbski @DarrenMcFlubby]

This could easily be the worst halftime show ever, what was Goodell thinking? No one knows what’s going on

[Uncle “Uncle Mike” Mike @_mikesburner_]

I love this fucking country man. Fighter jets rule. Go pats.

[Flubbski @DarrenMcFlubby]

Women hate that I have to have 10 beers before I can start talking to them

[Uncle “Uncle Mike” Mike @_mikesburner_]

@DarrenMcFlubby If I’m hitting the pike she better ride it like a bike

[Uncle “Uncle Mike” Mike @_mikesburner_]

Anyone else get a strong Bostonian urge to rob every money truck they see?

[Uncle “Uncle Mike” Mike @_mikesburner_]

@DarrenMcFlubby Basically a free bag tn

[Flubbski @DarrenMcFlubby]

#WashThatMonkeyWednesday

[New England Patriots @Patriots]

DIVISIONAL ROUND COMING UP!!!!!

Repost to win 2 tickets for Sunday's playoff matchup at @GilletteStadium: https://t.co/S9z2nKv1V6

[Uncle “Uncle Mike” Mike @_mikesburner_]

Doing red light therapy at 11:30pm on a Tuesday with a Serbian and a Lithuanian. We are not the same.