Mr. Knees

[Mr. Knees @_MrKnees]

#SpiderManNoWayHome Please no spoilers! I'm desperately trying to keep spoiler free. Even tweets about not wanting spoilers are spoilers. Is this a spoiler?!

[John Lewis & Partners @JohnLewisRetail]

It’s a pleasure to introduce our loveable friend #ExcitableEdgar @Waitrose

[Mr. Knees @_MrKnees]

What does Mr. Tumnus have to delete from his search history? Faunography.

[Mr. Knees @_MrKnees]

Who is this?

[Mr. Knees @_MrKnees]

This sculpture is as terrifying as it is erotic.

[Mr. Knees @_MrKnees]

You caught me! This is indeed @Adele fake twitter account. #WarwickAvenue

[Mr. Knees @_MrKnees]

Have you heard about the company conning people into buying fake properties on Norwegian waterways? They got done for being fjordulent.

[Mr. Knees @_MrKnees]

Sprog tip 367: Baby food can be very bland. Add tabasco, salt, ketchup and sugar to jazz it up. Take they Ainsley Harriott!

[Mr. Knees @_MrKnees]

Woke up to nearly 1000 cows walking around my bedroom. #FakeMoos

[Mr. Knees @_MrKnees]

Big shout out to my man Jesus for popping it so I can eat hot cross buns. Ledge.

[Mr. Knees @_MrKnees]

I've got sore wrists from drinking children's medicine on the Eurostar. Damn you Calpol-Tunnel Syndrome!

[Mr. Knees @_MrKnees]

@misteralanlee I guess it cost about £4.99. Approx.

[Mr. Knees @_MrKnees]

As a bacon substitute this was rubbish.

[Mr. Knees @_MrKnees]

Wearing sandals at a urinal is a very dangerous game. I lost.

[Mr. Knees @_MrKnees]

Managed to make my timer stop at exactly 5 minutes. Sorry @usainbolt. I win today.

[Mr. Knees @_MrKnees]

Ooh I like these. Perfect for the pool or the shower or the hot tub or puddles

[Mr. Knees @_MrKnees]

What's the correct amount of deodorant for a baby?

[Mr. Knees @_MrKnees]

Kneesus Christ! What a close vote! #WestWingSeries7

[Mr. Knees @_MrKnees]

Thought I'd have to throw away socks as there was a hole in the big toe.Clever old Knees swapped them. Hole is now over the other little toe

[Mr. Knees @_MrKnees]

Please welcome to the world, my son and heir, Grandad Knees. I named him after my Grandad.