Luis C. Almada D.

No es sencillo ser el Don Draper de Acarigua

[Luis C. Almada D. @_mrpinky]

-Estás como perro en parrilla.
-¿Cómo es eso?
-Pendiente, #Chamyta

[Cádiz Club de Fútbol @Cadiz_CF]

🖼️ CARTEL ONLINE | 𝗨𝗻 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗱𝗼 𝗱𝗲 𝘃𝗶𝗲𝗷𝗼𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗼𝘀 🤡🦇

#AlbaceteBPCádiz #LaLigaHypermotion

[Oliur @UltraLinx]

Can you read 900 words per minute? Try it.

[Drew Pavlou 🇦🇺🇺🇸🇺🇦🇹🇼 @DrewPavlou]

I know Venezuelans living in Venezuela are all celebrating right now, but has we stopped to consider what socialist trust fund kids in Brooklyn think?

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

The company hired me to lead their "Agile Transformation."
I don't know what Agile means.
Nobody does.
That's why it works.

I make $425,000 a year.
To move sticky notes.
From left to right.
On a board.
The board is digital now.
The sticky notes cost $80,000 in Jira licenses.
Progress.

Day one, I said "we need to break down silos."
Everyone nodded.
Silos are bad.
I don't know why.
But destroying them is a career.
My career.

I introduced "squads."
Squads are teams.
But disrupted.
We disrupted the teams into teams.
Different names.
Same people.
Same problems.
But Agile problems now.
Agile problems are strategic.

A senior engineer asked what we're actually changing.
I said, "The mindset."
He asked what that means.
I said, "It's a journey."
He asked where we're going.
I said, "Toward agility."
He asked what agility means.
I pointed at the sticky notes.
They were moving left to right.
That's velocity.
We have velocity now.

The VP of Engineering said two-week sprints don't fit their work.
I said, "That's waterfall thinking."
Waterfall is bad.
Like silos.
I don't know what waterfall is.
But I know it's bad.
She stopped talking.
Waterfall accusations end conversations.

We had a retrospective.
In the retro, we discussed what went wrong.
Everything went wrong.
We put it on sticky notes.
Then we moved the sticky notes.
Into a column called "Parking Lot."
The Parking Lot is where problems go to die.
It's full.
We don't look at it.
That's agile.

Velocity is up 40%.
I defined velocity.
I also defined the points.
I also defined the stories.
We're crushing it.
At the things I made up.
To measure.
Ourselves.

The CEO asked for ROI.
I showed a chart.
The chart went up.
Charts should go up.
This one did.
I didn't label the Y-axis.
Nobody asked.
Leadership is confidence.

We do standups now.
Every day.
We stand.
For 45 minutes.
Standing is agile.
Sitting is waterfall.
My legs hurt.
But we're transforming.

The transformation is now "Phase 3."
Phase 1 was assessment.
Phase 2 was implementation.
Phase 3 is "continuous improvement."
Continuous means forever.
Forever means job security.
I'm very secure.

My contract was extended.
Three more years.
For "cultural impact."
The culture is confused.
But impacted.

Agile transformation isn't about being agile.
It's about transforming.
Continuously.
Toward more transformation.
The destination is the journey.
The journey is billable.

[Luis C. Almada D. @_mrpinky]

Pov: waiting for the flight home in two hours

[Universo FCBarcelona @UNIVERSO_1899]

BOOOOOH, QUÉ FOTO.

[Luis C. Almada D. @_mrpinky]

@Aquilesj_ Y con el condon puesto

[Luis C. Almada D. @_mrpinky]

@AlejoFcb33 El parecido con @Rubiu5 es indudable

[Pursi @Spursito]

🚨💣 ¡Acuerdo cerrado! 💥 El PSG y Fenerbahçe han llegado a un acuerdo por el traspaso de Marco Asensio. El jugador español pondrá rumbo a Turquía 🇹🇷 en próximas horas.

Detalles del contrato y la cifra del traspaso se anunciarán pronto. 📄✍️

¡Estén atentos! 🔜 #MercadoDeFichajes #Asensio #PSG #Fenerbahçe

[Luis C. Almada D. @_mrpinky]

Nunca tengan miedo de hablar con su idolo/referencia cuando lo ven en público .
Una vez vi a @polispol ; otro dia vi a @arrozydesgracia en pleno y me cohibi.

hoy… hoy pude charlar pleno con @Miguel_An_Roman haciendo el 3X100 puertas de Barajas x el retraso del vuelo de ambos

[Luis C. Almada D. @_mrpinky]

Hoy tuve el placer de conocer y esperar el retraso de @Iberia haciendo el ida y vuelta en T4 con @Miguel_An_Roman ; si llegan a tener el honor; hablen… de la vida… de los hijos… de lo que les gusta, pero hablen; sin tapujos; pero con respeto..

[Luis C. Almada D. @_mrpinky]

@slaxz Dijo que si salia campeon se lo pintaba de rojo. Se viene el Bob Patiño

[Luis C. Almada D. @_mrpinky]

@MeDesidium 1K </3

[Luis C. Almada D. @_mrpinky]

@MeDesidium A mi me follaron mal este año :(

[Luis C. Almada D. @_mrpinky]

@MeDesidium @Aquilesj_ @Bazan04 @Zerparatista @FortuneCris @davidmhz <\3

[Luis C. Almada D. @_mrpinky]

Quien va a olvidar una buena parada de guebo?

[contrapunto.com @contrapuntovzla]

Estudio revela que la viagra puede prevenir el alzhéimer https://t.co/K6HBvuXa76

[Luis C. Almada D. @_mrpinky]

@gee_tangerine Abrazo fuerte

[Joanna Hausmann Jatar @Joannahausmann]

These sayings need to be abolished immediately or I’m going to implode

[Luis C. Almada D. @_mrpinky]

@laverias_ Glaced by the Mystical Rose