Linus Scatterbottom

allergic to @conroids_ laundry detergent

[Linus Scatterbottom @_nsmith28]

Happy July 5th to @TyreseMaxey

How about that guy huh!

[Linus Scatterbottom @_nsmith28]

If there’s only one stall and you choose to piss in it fuck off

[Linus Scatterbottom @_nsmith28]

Fear no shrinkage.

[Linus Scatterbottom @_nsmith28]

If I ever kill myself know it’s because I caught myself scrolling on LinkedIn reels

[Linus Scatterbottom @_nsmith28]

Setting my OOO message to “sorry I’m watching rizzler tik toks today, try again tomorrow”

(My office stinks because I have been farting)

[#UnlimitedDodgersGenocide @GetRitchDieRyan]

this bad boy calling to the UGA players after 16 beers like the green goblin mask

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

imagine if instead of signing bryce harper the phillies came to my home and shot me in the face

[Linus Scatterbottom @_nsmith28]

Just wish I had the chance to go downstairs

[Onward State @OnwardState]

The McDonald's in downtown State College has closed its doors for good, according to a sign on its door.

https://t.co/TFme9HHufJ

[Onward State @OnwardState]

The McDonald's in downtown State College has closed its doors for good, according to a sign on its door.

https://t.co/TFme9HHufJ

[Penn State Football @PennStateFball]

Coach Saban 🤝 @NittanyLion

[Linus Scatterbottom @_nsmith28]

Boob city: would live there

[Linus Scatterbottom @_nsmith28]

Dare me to stop grinding 💪🏻

[Linus Scatterbottom @_nsmith28]

@smartcar you guys are fucked when I get health insurance!

[Linus Scatterbottom @_nsmith28]

Very confident I could stiff arm a smart car

[Linus Scatterbottom @_nsmith28]

The plan:

Infiltrate women’s fashion in a non patriarchal way.

Also read:

Make these bitches (respectfully) comfy!

[Linus Scatterbottom @_nsmith28]

All foods are either meats cheeses or bread. Disagree with me

[Linus Scatterbottom @_nsmith28]

Sometimes the hardest pill to swallow is a full deviled egg

[Linus Scatterbottom @_nsmith28]

March madness has me thinking that we need to go back to putting wood paneling on the side of cars

[Linus Scatterbottom @_nsmith28]

You’re in her DMs, she’s rubbing my scalp.

(I have lice and she is my doctor)