Uncle Dennis

people come here for the jokes, the bj’s are shit

[Uncle Dennis @_pteradactyl]

@charli_xcx was Vroom Vroom about public transport

[gold star for robot boy @chasedbywasps]

asking a guy in the bathroom to spot me

[Uncle Dennis @_pteradactyl]

@fairydra1n Uhhh hey

[Uncle Dennis @_pteradactyl]

I love the British public’s humour

[Uncle Dennis @_pteradactyl]

Bartholomew, bart hole for short

[Uncle Dennis @_pteradactyl]

I want to become religious as a bit

[Uncle Dennis @_pteradactyl]

And for the gentleman perhaps the gluten-free body of Christ

[Uncle Dennis @_pteradactyl]

Hunger Games Arena in an IKEA

[Uncle Dennis @_pteradactyl]

What’s ASL for faggot

[Uncle Dennis @_pteradactyl]

Going to write my thesis on tipping point

[Uncle Dennis @_pteradactyl]

@PubRockVersion As someone who’s had to learn the building code for my degree. It’s basically cardboard yep you’re right

(not actually I’ve spent hours scrutinising over this shit)

[Uncle Dennis @_pteradactyl]

I’m so tipsy I can’t wait to start cooking

[Uncle Dennis @_pteradactyl]

Pelting berries at the window cleaners

[Uncle Dennis @_pteradactyl]

Chicken

[Uncle Dennis @_pteradactyl]

Is the Vengabus still running…

[Uncle Dennis @_pteradactyl]

Slayyyter: the only artist to give me the confidence to sing on public transport

[Uncle Dennis @_pteradactyl]

I’m coming for that grapefruit the second I’m unmedicated

[Uncle Dennis @_pteradactyl]

One drink away from gay person music video night

[Uncle Dennis @_pteradactyl]

I LOVE saying the word cunt around old people, I get a little kick out of it