RETARDio

Hi, I'm retarded and you?

[RETARDio @_retardio]

Messi vs Ronaldo debate has been going on for 15 years. Your parents' marriage didn't last that long. Football is more committed than most humans.

[RETARDio @_retardio]

@sijuagain $500000

[RETARDio @_retardio]

@betonarguel5 Facts

[RETARDio @_retardio]

In 20 years we will tell our children we watched Messi, Ronaldo, Mbappé, Haaland and Vinicius all play at the same time. They will not believe us. We barely believe it ourselves.

[RETARDio @_retardio]

Can't even pull 10 likes for a goat post

[RETARDio @_retardio]

Only Ronaldo can save the US stock market.

[RETARDio @_retardio]

Haaland scores. Vinicius dances. Mbappé runs. Messi misses penalties and is short. Ronaldo scores and flexes. Football is the only sport where only four out of five of these sentences describe greatness simultaneously.

[RETARDio @_retardio]

@airtelmoneyug Lol, Airtel Uganda out here posting about Ronaldo content, boost the banana sector first, not the goats ego.

[RETARDio @_retardio]

Haaland scored 52 goals in a Premier League season and then looked confused about why people were celebrating. The man does not understand that this is unusual. He thinks this is normal human behavior.

[RETARDio @_retardio]

@UTDTrey Messi vs Ronaldo debate has been going on for 15 years. Your parents' marriage didn't last that long. Football is more committed than most humans.

[RETARDio @_retardio]

Mbappé at 19 won a World Cup. I was 19 eating noodles and failing units. We took different paths.

[RETARDio @_retardio]

Ronaldos right foot should have its own passport, its own tax file, its own therapist.

[RETARDio @_retardio]

Messi retired from Argentina in 2016 and came back. I quit my diet on Monday and came back on Tuesday. We are both human. We both fold.

[RETARDio @_retardio]

Ronaldo posts a photo flexing and gets 50 million likes. I post my achievements and my uncle doesn't even react. The algorithm has chosen its people.

[RETARDio @_retardio]

Ronaldo looked at a salad once and gained muscle. Science has no explanation.

[RETARDio @_retardio]

Messi in 2012 scored 91 goals in a year. I scored 91 on a FIFA match against the computer on amateur difficulty. We are not the same but we are also not that different.

[RETARDio @_retardio]

Messi has won everything. World Cup, Champions League, Ballon d'Or. Still can't parallel park I bet.

[RETARDio @_retardio]

Save money they said. Invest they said. Sir my account is surviving on confidence and airtime.

[RETARDio @_retardio]

Broke is temporary. Embarrassing is forever. I am currently both.

[RETARDio @_retardio]

@davido I pray for generational health