Introducing the Scottish-American travel dictionary 🇺🇸🏴
We’ve put together this guide to keep the Tartan Army out of trouble in the States.
Read carefully to avoid confusing the locals, deeply offending the country, or being interrogated by Homeland Security over a sandwich.
So far at the 2026 FIFA Epstein Cup before a ball kicked:
- Senegal & Uzbekistan squads treated like criminals upon arrival given full cavity searches;
- Africa’s best referee sent back to Somalia despite having a diplomatic passport;
- Iraq team photographer sent back despite valid visa;
- AIPS (international sport journalist association) calling on FIFA to sort out unacceptable visa issues of African & Iranian journalists;
- 90% of Moroccan fans with tickets denied entry
- 14 members of Iran backroom staff denied visas
Not a word from Gianni ”today I feel black/gay/disabled etc” Infantino.
Rice is gonna fight as long as the ball is loose but he should've gone to ground here and forced the ref's hand. Blatant foul, and ofc we concede the pen 1 min later
A certain team finished 10th.
A certain team played 40 games all season.
Another team had a near death escape from relegation
£400m spent to finish 5th & 25 points behind Arsenal
^^ yet these lot are the loudest
Seeing a lot of gleeful mickey-taking from people who you’d imagine would snatch your arm off if you offered their clubs the season Arsenal have just had.
Ref giving a master class in how to tilt a game by leaning on the scales with a million dodgy small calls and plausible deniability over your integrity