Kid Show Business

If people aren’t laughing something is wrong.

[Kid Show Business @_RomanLeo]

I'm a cheap date I show up drunk

[Kid Show Business @_RomanLeo]

Not interested in Business Oligarch

[Kid Show Business @_RomanLeo]

Woke up on time today at 12:45PM!

[cocaine murder jam @cmj69420]

*gathers tarantula in Arizona desert to sell illegally on craigslist*

*gets letter from FBI, thinks Just try to come get me in my condo full of giant spiders*

*breeds super tarantula as extra percaution*

[SamHarter @SlamHarter]

im good at stand up comedy now i finally turned it around

[eddie pepitone @eddiepepitone]

Know this: you are greatness and light. No, wait, that's not you. Sorry.

[Kid Show Business @_RomanLeo]

Godzilla must have been hella pissed in the drive-through when they banned supersize!!!

[Samuel Walker @SamsOldXAccount]

Have never enjoyed seeing the Venmo timeline a single time

[eddie pepitone @eddiepepitone]

Here's a fun thing: Take your first name and then go fuck yourself.

[eddie pepitone @eddiepepitone]

Once I learn how to process my emotions, figure out how to sleep at night, stop eating compulsively, learn to love and find a purpose, then LOOK OUT cause I’m gonna be unstoppable.

[eddie pepitone @eddiepepitone]

If we are on this earth for such a short time then why is this day dragging? ( gunshot. Followed by a long howl from a lone wolf on the prairie that knows only hardship. Suddenly a man in a suit comes running near the hungry wolf. It is Jimmy Fallon. He is mauled.)

[eddie pepitone @eddiepepitone]

Let us make this the greatest nation on the planet who couldn’t prevent the unnecessary deaths of 600,000 people because of a for-profit healthcare system.

[eddie pepitone @eddiepepitone]

“ hey hate!” ‘yea fear?” ‘ hedge funds keep buying up lots of the housing market and no one can afford a house anymore “. “ that’s why we are going to murder them one by one” ‘thanks hate’.

[Jason Cole @Jcolecomedian]

2 weeks away from a NEW Year NEW Laughs @SoundRoomOAK in beautiful @visitoakland
with the best comics Cali has to offer. Advance tickets recommended & only $10!🔥🎤🔥🎤🔥
https://t.co/3yK2dkkWmu
@JoeyAveryComedy @irene_tu @zorbajvon
@visitoakland @OakFirstFridays @_RomanLeo

[Samuel Walker @SamsOldXAccount]

Any song is a breakup song if you sing it while crying

[Nat Funny @NatashaMuse]

I’d be a lot happier if I wasn’t so sad.

[Kid Show Business @_RomanLeo]

@90DayFianceTLC his hair was wet because they shot the water in the face scene so many times, I’m no #idiot

[Kid Show Business @_RomanLeo]

Sesame Street was one of the most diabolical mind warping Alien invasions that’s totally real.

[Kid Show Business @_RomanLeo]

The flies follow me everywhere. :) #neveralone

[Kid Show Business @_RomanLeo]

@ginnyhogan_ @hmmlols