Sam Balam

Wife, Mama, Boss Bitch, Crime junkie, Reality everything

[Sam Balam @_samijogrant]

@OmaHawkeye03

[OUT OF FUQS QWEEN 💬 @SanteenaR]

Fun fact: Madison Square Garden is available for anyone to rent out for $1M a day. Most of the people renting it (and yes, shutting down a few streets) do not reward the city with $26M in donations. Cry harder MAGA. 🤪

[Sam Balam @_samijogrant]

@afonfara15

[m. @glosslovie]

every swiftie today:

[Sam Balam @_samijogrant]

You don’t say….

[Football Crave @FootballCravee]

Harrison Butker was the only Chiefs player to NOT be invited to Travis Kelce’s wedding.

[Sam Balam @_samijogrant]

Don’t threaten me with a good time

[Jenni @hashjenni]

Three US presidents have died on July 4. I feel like we can top that.

[Maryam @hell_line0]

I love how they found a way to use a blood test for men’s prostate cancer, but I still have to get my titties slammed in a press and my cervix scraped with a brush...

[Sam Balam @_samijogrant]

Will always be hilarious 💀

[fd @fdswift13]

Remember when 😭

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

Every McDonald's should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is broken

[Reis @Reis1870749]

A TRUE PRESIDENTIAL LOVE STORY !!!!
💐🥰💐🥰💐🥰💐🥰💐🥰💐🥰💐

[Sam Balam @_samijogrant]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[Jon Cooper 🇺🇸 @joncoopertweets]

Imagine Trump ever being invited to join a photo like this — not in a million years.

Four presidents. Zero drama. Just smiles, respect, and a shared love of country. 🇺🇸

[Austin King @AustinKingMT]

Costco needs to get rid of the AT&T people.

Sir, I'm here to buy 8 pounds of chicken wings, 600 paper plates, and a years supply of oil for my truck, not be harassed about changing my phone plan.

[remx @biigrem]

Them canceling schools for tornados is crazy bc they had us in the hallway face down ass up

[Sam Balam @_samijogrant]

Honestly Amanda it’s so hysterical that you cried for years only to fuck your best friend’s ex AND THEN get with a dude that refuses to acknowledge any relationship with anyone.

[bimbo baggins @allyson_meghan]

saying “happy pride” to random straight men to make them paranoid all month

[Love Music @khnh80044]

A man noticed a kid driving through his driveway for fun every day and instead of getting angry, he did this for the kid... 😊❤️
https://t.co/xpCefRCVaI

[eliz @eliza___v]

Who fucking closed last night?

[S. ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ @shirlsssssss]

why the FUCK Netflix helping me spell a movie they don’t have. 😭😭😩 FUCK YOU HOE.

[Sam Balam @_samijogrant]

@OmaHawkeye03

[BRAVOOOMG @bravooomg]

#SummerHouse reunion drinking game

• Every time those two gremlins explain “the timeline” → take a shot.
• Every time West stays silent when he should speak up → take a shot.
• Every time Manders fake cries → take a shot.
• Every time they deflect instead of answering the question → take a shot.

You’ll be blackout drunk by the first commercial break.

[Miller mommy @_sydneycaitlin]

The only thing that matters this week is the start of the Summer House reunion

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

All the “I’m not voting because both sides are bad” people can fuck off