Claudzzz 🦋

I think I’m kinda funny but it might just be the trauma

[Claudzzz 🦋 @_sarcasticb]

me on the outside: I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me VS me on the inside: I’m a sad bitch plz kill me

[Claudzzz 🦋 @_sarcasticb]

@OldNavy you’re on my shit list. Will now be recording all the packages I open when I order online bc how is this the third time I order with yall and I have missing items 🫠

[Claudzzz 🦋 @_sarcasticb]

Either @UPS or the store I ordered from said fuck me. I just opened the package for a birthday present I bought for Davon and the box is so FUCKED 🤬 thankfully there was no damage to the present but like still do better

[Claudzzz 🦋 @_sarcasticb]

Like I got 0 muscles in these noodle arms why I gotta struggle Y DOES HE HATE ME

[Claudzzz 🦋 @_sarcasticb]

In case anyone was wondering what the most ANNOYING thing my bf does is, it’s tightening the lids of my water bottles too tight 😠

[Claudzzz 🦋 @_sarcasticb]

like is this me

[Claudzzz 🦋 @_sarcasticb]

My bf calls me buttercup, can’t tell if it’s sweet or if he’s comparing me buttercup from the power puff girls 💀

[Claudzzz 🦋 @_sarcasticb]

Just realized I have the attention span and bladder of a 3 year old 😭

[Claudzzz 🦋 @_sarcasticb]

Y’all my man smoked be a bunch of chicken breasts for meal prep in different seasonings so I don’t get bored throughout the week DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS LADIES

[Shafeeq @Y2SHAF]

that’s correct

[Kay @KaylarWill]

I play Sza - Snooze 45x a day. It make me feel so good.

[Claudzzz 🦋 @_sarcasticb]

What should I get my manz for V-day 🤔

[Claudzzz 🦋 @_sarcasticb]

WFH hope no one calls bc I hate ppl

[Claudzzz 🦋 @_sarcasticb]

@MayraJN Sounds like you’ll be taking a lot of showers

[Claudzzz 🦋 @_sarcasticb]

Fuck it, a win is a win

[Claudzzz 🦋 @_sarcasticb]

My mom made caldo and it’s actually caldo weather!?!?! Does this mean Dallaska is coming

[Claudzzz 🦋 @_sarcasticb]

Constantly forgetting that I should not be drinking a venti size coffee bc I get shaky and anxious 😬

[introvert @livewithnoregrt]

i’m not anti-social, i’m selectively social.

[Claudzzz 🦋 @_sarcasticb]

I just got some @Starbucks and I noticed there was something purple at the bottom of my cup there was a tiny fucking bell in my cup WTF 🤮

[Claudzzz 🦋 @_sarcasticb]

the other day at work someone asked me if i was a scorpio & i was like no i’m a virgo & a bitch occasionally