Scott D. Smith

Teacher, author, part-time dark wizard, but I can quit any time I want. Repped by @leonhusock

[Scott D. Smith @_scottwrites]

https://t.co/LnkhvHGB3G
Please click this link to vote for my daughter's piece in the Tulsi Gabbard art competition. She's #ClassOf2020 and she would love your support ending the year on a high note.
#classof2020strong #kahakii

[Scott D. Smith @_scottwrites]

@corbydavidson What if he and Dirk had played together in prime years?

[Scott D. Smith @_scottwrites]

@LBScottt Better to have lived and lived and gotten a free meal at TGI Fridays than never top gave dated at all. Or something.

[Scott D. Smith @_scottwrites]

You guys ever stop to think that someone at Food Network's job is to think of foods that would never go together and then put them together? They're a reverse match maker, but for grub.

[Scott D. Smith @_scottwrites]

@LBScottt Seems like a swissed opportunity. You've got to brie pretty sad about that.

[Scott D. Smith @_scottwrites]

I saw a bagel being kept in the zoo yesterday. I asked how it got there, and they said it was bread in captivity.

[Scott D. Smith @_scottwrites]

#target your carts are a thing of engineering beauty. Always buttery smooth. It's the little things.

[Scott D. Smith @_scottwrites]

@barrettclark Bottom feeding is a standard

[Scott D. Smith @_scottwrites]

@Eloisa_Herr Eloisa, which school?

[Scott D. Smith @_scottwrites]

@thenoahkinsey Safety Dance? Wait...

[Scott D. Smith @_scottwrites]

I've had an Alegra and a Benadryl, and my nose is still like...

[Scott D. Smith @_scottwrites]

Also in SP vs The World, Chris Evans, Brie Larson, and Bill Hader. Seriously, it has everyone.

[Scott D. Smith @_scottwrites]

How have I never realized that Anna Kendrick is in Scott Pilgrim vs The World? Also Aubrey Plaza??

[Scott D. Smith @_scottwrites]

I took all the labels off my spices for some reason. I'm not saying I'm confused YET, but the thyme is definitely cumin.

[Scott D. Smith @_scottwrites]

I'm chaperoning a middle school dance, and two of my kids are having a dance off with two random kids at te pak across the street.

[Scott D. Smith @_scottwrites]

My neighbor, the blacksmith, gave me his dog and told me he was not only house broken but that he could do some forging and small repairs. He must have been right. Soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door. #dadjokes

[ParkerSchoolBulls @ParkerBulls]

Congratulations to Parker School girls tennis team. They have qualified for BIIF Championships as a team. First time in school history.

[Scott D. Smith @_scottwrites]

@barrettclark Stay with it. All three original books are amazing. Just takes a minute to get trough what is obviously a translation to English.

[Scott D. Smith @_scottwrites]

How come when a movie character starts a revenge fire, he always drops the Zippo? I mean, you've got issues to resolve, but that was a perfectly good lighter.

[Scott D. Smith @_scottwrites]

I bet penguin lawyers get tired of getting paid in regurgitated fish. Then again, at least their clients aren't a flight risk.