The Average Dad

#BBN. I love Kentucky basketball more than my children (they’re cool too though). GO CATS. idk where I’m going, but you should follow me.

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

Making @BarstoolBigCat laugh is going to be on my next resumé as it’s the finest thing that has happened in my twitter career.

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

@playpigeonss Kids a fuckin fagg0t.

*I only used the 0 because when I normally say it, it gets deleted.

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

@ryenarussillo It’s wemby and it isn’t close. Not close at all, really. Wemby will probably go down as the best player the NBA has ever seen.

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

What the fuck are you talking about? This dumb bitch is having a “gender reveal” party but it’s to figure out the father. That is insane. You can’t have a fucking gathering for that information. Also, it’s impossible for a man to have this kind of party. Your argument is null and void.

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

@Ian_Cortex @Breaking911 You sound like an idiot

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

Just had @wakeupbarstool on and fell back asleep slightly and was dreaming that I was on the set behind them while they were arguing about the jokic thing and I was like comically fumbling pizza rolls and lasagna everywhere while being attacked by multiple cats trying to get my food. It was like a 90’s infomercial.

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

@Pickering @barstoolspringb Brother I didn’t even know there was anyone else in this video. Who is that?!

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

@John_Fanta Also, you can obviously tell by my profile picture that I can absolutely HOUSE two sammys and a large fry.

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

@John_Fanta I tweeted this immediately after waking up so I can’t recall, but I’d assume it was chick-fil-a. What is your order from there?

Mine is two chicken Sammys with not pickle and a large fry and large sprite. Tons of mayo and CFA sauce.

I’ll hang up and listen. Love you, Johnny!!

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

Had a dream that @John_Fanta was my DoorDash driver and I forced him inside strictly to talk ball.

Sorry, Johnny.

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

@Blutman27 Blutman, come to my restaurant for free dinner

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

@AmiriKing This is why shit is no longer accessible to the general public. Used to be able to just grab deodorant off the shelf and now it’s locked up. Used to be able to grab your own Taco Bell sauce and now you have to ask for it. It’s these fucking people, man.

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

@BarstoolBigCat @BarstoolYak Pissburgh Pirates was a huge miss here

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

@wakeupbarstool #askwub can we make sure @Blutman27 doesn’t wear that shirt again? It is breaking my brain.

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

@itsmarkmoran Put on

A fucking

Belt.

Also, you sound absolutely ridiculous.

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

@benonwine If I did know what that felt like, I certainly wouldn’t film it like a fucking fagg0t (got censored for spelling the actual word).

But this dude is a loser and I didn’t even watch the video. Just seems like such a fucking douche.

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

@harukaawake @codytriesstuff “Taaake me home to the prace I beroooooong”

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

@Daniel_Rapaport This is a really, really weird thing to cry about. You are a grown man.

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

@JonRothstein They can take mark pope for like $10

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

@VivaLaStool @insidetheslot @canadian_oldie @spittinchiclets @barstoolsports This shit is getting so fucking weird and old. And what the fuck is this podcast? I’m happy they keep him distant from PMT for the most part now because this shit is so odd.

[The Average Dad @_sheehy_]

@KySportsRadio Matt, please don’t tweet about episode 6.