(Derogatory)

I’m CRAZIER than her!!!

[(Derogatory) @_Slaymen]

Do blind folks have a concept of “above” or “below?”

[(Derogatory) @_Slaymen]

I know I ate a lot today because my jaw hurts. I’m such a fat bitch

[(Derogatory) @_Slaymen]

He’s not, like, fat fat; he’s just UPS driver fat

[(Derogatory) @_Slaymen]

“After this, my mouth needs to EAT something!”

[(Derogatory) @_Slaymen]

This keeps happening; I don’t understand what’s happening but NEGATIVE ENERGY

[(Derogatory) @_Slaymen]

*with the most sincere face ever* “you’re at risk for serious injury if you’re fat.”

[(Derogatory) @_Slaymen]

Whoever works for Shutterfly and handles my orders every holiday season, I am so sorry I put you through All That ™️.

[(Derogatory) @_Slaymen]

#NewProfilePic

[Slimantha Morningstar🔪🕷️ @SlimThaGoddess_]

i said it before & ill say it again , IDGAF HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THAT NIGGA DO NOOOOOOTTTTTT LET THEM CONVERT YOU TO MUSLIM (no disrespect to all the * muslim girlies that do it for Allah & not aniggah)

[(Derogatory) @_Slaymen]

My eating disorder goes CRAZY when I laugh on a pool raft and I see the ripples popping off in the water

[(Derogatory) @_Slaymen]

high off the edible listening to my man compliment how calm I am every quarter hour

[(Derogatory) @_Slaymen]

That blissful 6 hours in between the inconsiderate couple fucking off from the vacation house and realizing someone in the vacation house has Covid

[(Derogatory) @_Slaymen]

His breath smells like children’s toothpaste

[(Derogatory) @_Slaymen]

My wife:

“Every single one of our neighbors could be in a 1-800-QUIT commercial”

[(Derogatory) @_Slaymen]

My girlfriend just said I was fat in practice :)

[(Derogatory) @_Slaymen]

“My mom made out with a cigarette”

[(Derogatory) @_Slaymen]

I’m, like, choking on this shit because it’s so black (about coffee)

[(Derogatory) @_Slaymen]

period mad late and I haven’t had sex in like 5 years https://t.co/fcT7YSu5dA

[(Derogatory) @_Slaymen]

Visiting the fam is always a great time but so is returning to a fuckin king bed, to be a cunt

[(Derogatory) @_Slaymen]

Kindergarten teachers:

ABCs, 123s, blue and yellow make green, and if you’re ever on fucking FIRE stop, drop, and roll! 🥰