BettieSpaghetti

I don't take my tweets seriously.

[BettieSpaghetti @_spagheddie_]

I just took my cat's collar off and realized he's naked now

[BettieSpaghetti @_spagheddie_]

Can someone please fucking tell me why we pronounce "should" and "shoulder" so different yet practically spelled identical

[BettieSpaghetti @_spagheddie_]

I don't understand how people get so upset about things that have nothing to do with them. You have nothing to do with it, move on with your life. "omg bud light" "omg target" Life is awesome when you just move on past the B's. Grow up y'all

[BettieSpaghetti @_spagheddie_]

I probably sound like a boomer, but I wish prices were cheaper at places with mostly self checkout lanes. Why am I paying for me to do your job?

[BettieSpaghetti @_spagheddie_]

I'm not a baseball fan, but something about these new Texas Rangers jerseys 🔥🔥

[BettieSpaghetti @_spagheddie_]

Legit just saw a car with a sticker of a punisher skull and Donald Trump hairstyle

[BettieSpaghetti @_spagheddie_]

How long does it typically take for someone to get their nails done?

[BettieSpaghetti @_spagheddie_]

The white boy in me comes out when I eat pizza with ranch

[BettieSpaghetti @_spagheddie_]

Just tried to type "turtles" on my phone and it wanted to autocorrect to "titties" 😐

[BettieSpaghetti @_spagheddie_]

If she wears animal print on the reg she crazy

[BettieSpaghetti @_spagheddie_]

Stop wearing animal print

[BettieSpaghetti @_spagheddie_]

"If you won't eat that I will. Sorry, I'm a fat ass"

[BettieSpaghetti @_spagheddie_]

If anyone's asking, I want a bidet for Christmas

[BettieSpaghetti @_spagheddie_]

I set my clocks early cause I know I'm always late

[BettieSpaghetti @_spagheddie_]

Whoever invented the flathead screw is a jackass

[BettieSpaghetti @_spagheddie_]

No one:
My wife: I'm watching an Amazon ad for an air fryer

[BettieSpaghetti @_spagheddie_]

The quickest way to not be my friend is by clipping your phone on your belt

[BettieSpaghetti @_spagheddie_]

Daddy issues are a helluva drug

[BettieSpaghetti @_spagheddie_]

Damnnnn RIP to Takeoff, what a shame

[BettieSpaghetti @_spagheddie_]

Honestly, if you don't vote you don't really have a place to talk about politics