whatevermom

[whatevermom @_starcat_]

@hayuhelps my AppleTV app updated and now nothing loads. Just spinning wheel. I have uninstalled, restarted and reinstalled. Help.

[whatevermom @_starcat_]

To all the couples doing costumes as Barbie & Ken: message received. I will despise your husband. I might even push him down the stairs to prevent another Mojo Dojo Casa House from being made out of a perfectly fine home. He is trash to me.

[whatevermom @_starcat_]

TIL my toxic trait is if I hid my friend’s phone for 45 mins and they lost it on me, I wouldn’t apologize. I also learned I would not be popular in a reality tv show. #rhony

[Prime Minister of Canada @CanadianPM]

Today, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced that the #GoC is partnering with non-profit organization @RainbowRailroad to protect LGBTQI+ refugees and welcome them to Canada. Learn more about this partnership and the Government-Assisted Refugees Program: https://t.co/2p51tyr3OM

[whatevermom @_starcat_]

@LawlessDani Yessss! I have some baguette pizzas too!

[whatevermom @_starcat_]

Travel Self Care is leaving some eggs and a bottle of wine waiting at home so you don’t have to go out or do anything upon your return.

[whatevermom @_starcat_]

@LawlessDani To be clear: it makes me homicidal.

[whatevermom @_starcat_]

Pet peeves? None. I love waiting at the baggage carousel and watching people inch closer and closer to the belt, obscuring everyone’s view as if that will make their bags appear faster. I. LOVE. IT.

[emily may @emilykmay]

I feel like female contribution to the family can be summed up in the simple fact that mothers could absolutely never have a “secret second family.”

[whatevermom @_starcat_]

Petition to cancel the Tom’s from #WinterHouse and send Ariana and Kristen instead. #PumpRules

[whatevermom @_starcat_]

Time for the Witches of WeHo to reunite and induct some new members to the coven #pumprules

[whatevermom @_starcat_]

Not even 9am and I’ve already seen “Walla!” in three different comment threads instead of “Voila!”

What is this life?

[Stacey Burns @WentRogue]

I wish I could go back in time and describe to my 20 year self how one day it’ll be 12:30 at night and I’ll be one of six people who have responded “interested” on a set of three pairs of socks someone in our local Buy Nothing group has posted, eagerly hoping to be the chosen one

[whatevermom @_starcat_]

@baileymeyers Chutzpah

[whatevermom @_starcat_]

Love a know-it-all who wears his epaulettes upside down while saying it’s not his first rodeo. #belowdeckadventure #BelowDeck

[whatevermom @_starcat_]

@queensofbravo Well if we can’t have another episode then make a “Secrets Revealed” like we used to get to answer all the lingering questions

[Queens of Bravo @queensofbravo]

😬👀 #RHOBH

[whatevermom @_starcat_]

Watching Kathy vs Rinna in the Reunion trailer feels like when Harry fought Voldemort in the graveyard. Their wands are locked. I’m waiting for the ghosts of LVP, Kim and Denise to appear. #RHOBH

[whatevermom @_starcat_]

@lufthansa who do I speak to about only half my delayed baggage being delivered?

[Tig Notaro @TigNotaro]

If I make my uterus an LLC will republicans stay out of my private business