namastay

[ChampagneJuJu 🇪🇬 @jujuhabashy]

new year, same khara

[ChampagneJuJu 🇪🇬 @jujuhabashy]

study hard and crush those finals habibi I believe in you

[Carliss Chatman @carlissc]

If a fetus is a person at 6 weeks pregnant, is that when the child support starts? Is that also when you can’t deport the mother because she’s carrying a US citizen? Can I insure a 6 week fetus and collect if I miscarry? Just figuring if we’re going here we should go all in.

[Gael Rugby @Gael_Rugby]

Correction: Guam, not Philippines

[Gael Rugby @Gael_Rugby]

Jake burrito scores a try for the Gaels. Representing his home island of the Philippines!!!

[Sydney Leroux @sydneyleroux]

I don’t care how athletic you think you are... a flight of stairs will get you every time.

[Drebae @Drebae_]

If #NetNeutrality isn’t saved tomorrow I just want y’all to know I ain’t paying for shit. But I had fun

[relatable @byreIatable]

Me: got so much work, can't go out this weekend.
Fri: well I still have tomorrow
Sat: I'll just work all day Sun
Sun:

[Haley Jones @HJonesy14]

*future husband leaves for work*
*future husband comes home*
".....did we have these dogs this morning??" https://t.co/rANLje86r5

[John Mayer @JohnMayer]

They should let everyone on hold with customer service talk to one another.

[Emily Senesac @emsenesac]

u ever smell the air and it smells like the fourth grade scholastic bookfair on a chilly tuesday in october of 2007

[Sanho Tree @SanhoTree]

Please make #PuertoRico trend. They’re 100% without power and can’t tweet it themselves. Unprecedented levels of assistance needed now. https://t.co/J3ltRU93qP

[relatable @byreIatable]

"A student in bed will remain in bed until acted upon by a large enough panic" - Newton's lesser known fourth law