I just want to do something that makes me feel accomplished, that I can look back at it and say "I did that" and be happy about it... Just to not overthink like I've done before so many times and just live a somewhat "normal" life without having all this self doubt and hate...
But I know that, that won't help or make me feel better... Its hard trying to be positive in life when some many unfortunate things come into your life at the last minute to turn what you thought was good mental progress into a hot pile of trash..