👿

they//them

[👿 @_themme]

and its a ~joke~ and all but when your dumb unstable asses procreate and then abandon said children in adulthood after imparting only bad habits you are literally making more mfers like me! please stop doing that

[👿 @_themme]

deadass please think long and hard abt having kids they could literally end up like me?

[👿 @_themme]

petition to bring spliffs back i love a good spliff its been years

[👿 @_themme]

also guess btw i saw him AGAIN last weekend and he said the EXACT SAME THING so im pretty confident this is just his ~line~ for every person he hits on and honestly in portland thats gotta go hard af.
nobody is from here and everybody wants to hear they look so different

[👿 @_themme]

dear man who tried to hit on me outside of the psu farmers market by telling me my look caught your eye because i don't "look portland at all"
like i said you were super WRONG and have given me a genuine identity crisis please adjust your game my man 🩷

[👿 @_themme]

why tf is my favorite barista leaving the country to go to grad school?? and why can't i be happy for you - why archeology are u fr !!!
cis white gays of portland strike again im so over this

[👿 @_themme]

like you pay an HR employee who does not read resumes, write emails or even monitor the inbox ??? very cool stuff

[👿 @_themme]

very excited to find out that even small, locally owned food service establishment have completely switched all hiring communications to ai

[👿 @_themme]

dear man who tried to hit on me outside of the psu farmers market by telling me my look caught your eye because i don't "look portland at all"
like i said you were super WRONG and have given me a genuine identity crisis please adjust your game my man 🩷

[n @myloversprayer]

2 months left in the year… time flies when ur smoking a lot of weed and trying not to actively kys

[👿 @_themme]

so serious when i say that apartment developers from last 20 years should be sh*t
what the FUCK is ur problem with FULL walls and real doors?!

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

post-hangout affirmations

-i was normal
-there are at least 2 or 3 people alive
who are worse to spend time with
than me
-no one wants me to die
-nobody noticed when i missed my
mouth a little bit & spilled some diet
coke down my shirt

[luci @lucirules]

i always need to pee but it's just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder

[👿 @_themme]

i feel like straight men vaping gives me the same vibe as if they did poppers
like there isn't a rule against it or anything but it is such a gay thing to do

[aria STELLE AND ASTH DAY!!! @devilscorrupted]

"i asked chatgpt" "i asked grok" i asked jeff the killer and he said im gonna jeff the kill you

[👿 @_themme]

i am actually a single issue voter now im voting for whoever can bring back these in a variety of flavors ASAP
we don't deserve much but i need this

[👿 @_themme]

ty i actually really needed to be 22 again

[◥◣◢◤elli @vellicaine]

your “twenties” are actually ages 25 - 35 if you’re gay

[𝕯𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖔 𝕭𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖎𝖓𝖘 @EmmaTolkin]

Oh no steam summer sale