Nate Semmler

I wish I lived in the 80s

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Jameis Winston @Jaboowins]

“The horse is prepared for battle, but victory comes from the Lord.” - Proverbs 21:31

[Ryder Cup USA @RyderCupUSA]

Bradley & The Boys Are Ready for Bethpage Black 🏆🇺🇸

#GoUSA

[Nate Semmler @_thenater]

@2Mantooth Cover 1 spy every time and it worked

[Nate Semmler @_thenater]

@BarstoolHubbs A taylor made double play? 😭

[Scorigami @NFL_Scorigami]

NYJ 19 - 32 SF
Final

That's Scorigami!! It's the 1085th unique final score in NFL history.

[Nate Semmler @_thenater]

@2Mantooth 💪🏼

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

Autotuneless T-Pain covering Black Sabbth's "War Pigs"

[Nate Semmler @_thenater]

@2Mantooth Most people would agree with you to

[PGA TOUR @PGATOUR]

Scottie Scheffler brings home the gold 🥇🇺🇸

The United States is victorious once again @OlympicGolf!

[Pardon My Take @PardonMyTake]

🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 https://t.co/JrwNUEzbEB

[Bryson DeChambeau @brysondech]

Let’s settle this whole handicap debate, I’ll host the golf match on my YouTube @realDonaldTrump @JoeBiden

[Zach Bollinger @zachbollinger18]

MLB players saying goodbye to Angel Hernandez after he announced his retirement.

[Jeff Passan @JeffPassan]

Umpire Angel Hernandez is retiring, a source confirms to ESPN. One of the most controversial figures in the game, the source of much ire and frustration by fans and players alike, Hernandez has umpired his last game in Major League Baseball. First on news: @BNightengale.

[Nate Semmler @_thenater]

@nikola_burner @Maxhoma Pervert!

[derek @derpo377]

It’s Always Sunny on Arrakis

[Nate Semmler @_thenater]

@nikola_burner Assembling a weapon of mass destruction in your gut I see