Jules Wilder

[Jules Wilder @_thewilder_]

Damn girl are you a pizza at a Chinese buffet because I'm not feeling it right now but I see you over there doing you and I respect that

[Jules Wilder @_thewilder_]

If you honk your horn .004 seconds after the light turns green I will shut off my car, lay on the hood, and feed the birds for an hour

[Jules Wilder @_thewilder_]

@NatashaSkoglun most productive thing I said that day😂

[Jules Wilder @_thewilder_]

Me: ahhh, I shall now drift happily off to sleep.

Refrigerator: I SHALL MAKE US SOME ICE CUBES

[Jules Wilder @_thewilder_]

Why you tell people to mind their own business, and then post all yo business on twitter?

[Jules Wilder @_thewilder_]

A stroller with an actual live baby in it just rolled past me down the street. Brb guys

[Jules Wilder @_thewilder_]

Well, just realized my phone has been in the fridge for the last hour, in case anyone needs a business manager

[Jules Wilder @_thewilder_]

And I will realize who I am
That I am you
You are me
And I will exist in light

[Jules Wilder @_thewilder_]

If Google ever goes down permanently, I'm screwed. I know like four facts and they're all about sloths and I already forgot three of them

[Jules Wilder @_thewilder_]

Sometimes it's hard to take girls with fake eyelashes seriously. Its like watching 2 tarantulas scream for attention.