sweet t

just a lil nugget searching for the sauce

[sweet t @_tweetnotfound]

I live every day with the firm belief that underwear is overrated

[sweet t @_tweetnotfound]

How your email finds me

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

In America, a stranger will rename you in a single breath, and you are simply expected to come when called.

I went to eat at a busy restaurant. A young man at the front asked for my name, to mark my place in line. I gave it the weight it has carried for eight hundred years.

"Nobunaga."

He smiled, nodded, and wrote it down with great confidence. Then he read it back to me, to be sure he had honored it correctly.

"Perfect. Banana, party of one."

Banana. He had heard my name, held it a moment, and returned to me something rounder and more cheerful. To refuse the name a host gives is to refuse his welcome. I bowed. I was Banana now.

Then he handed me a small black disc, said it would "light up and buzz" when my table was ready, and turned to the next guest as though he had not just placed a living thing in my hands.

I held it in both palms, the way one holds a small sleeping beast that may wake. I found a place to stand. I waited, ready.

It woke.

It screamed. It flashed red. It leapt and shook in my hands like a captured spirit demanding release. A lesser man would have dropped it. I did not. I gripped it, steady, looked into its blinking lights, and told it, in a low voice, that its time had come. Then I carried it back to the host with both hands, the way one returns a hawk to its master.

He took it without looking and shouted across the entire room.

"BANANA! Party of one, your table's ready!"

A hundred strangers turned. I rose. I crossed that floor as Banana, spine straight, chin level, a man answering to his name. A child pointed at me. I gave the child a small bow. He had recognized me.

All through the meal they kept me. "How's it tasting, Banana?" "More water, Banana?" The check, when it came, said Banana, and thanked me for visiting. By the end the whole staff knew me. They waved as I left. "Night, Banana!"

So tell me honestly.

For eight hundred years my clan answered to one name. Tonight I answered to a fruit, calmed a screaming relic in my bare hands, and ate among people who were glad I came.

When the little disc lights up, is the table truly mine, or am I only keeping it warm for the next Banana?

Because I have already decided to return on Friday, and to ask, very humbly, for the same disc.

[sweet t @_tweetnotfound]

You don’t have to have poker face if you don’t know how to play the game

[sweet t @_tweetnotfound]

Friend of mine showed me an old AFI music video today and it was exactly what I expected

[sweet t @_tweetnotfound]

Had a college baseball player move in today and now my office smells like axe body spray

[sweet t @_tweetnotfound]

me too, zomboid. meeeee too

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Been watching so much YouTube that whenever I play crusader kings my inner monologue has a koifish accent. Very good!

[sweet t @_tweetnotfound]

@helen What happens when he catches them?

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@emma_____weaver Call em Better Than Nothings™️

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Stop buying new shit

[sweet t @_tweetnotfound]

A pharmaceutical ad in the middle of Requiem for a Dream

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I have no beak and I must quack

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All men that hate on women with tattoos secretly think they’re super hot & wish they could be them

[sweet t @_tweetnotfound]

I have accepted insomnia as the hot non-binary third wheel to mine and my gf’s relationship. It’s easier to welcome an enemy as a friend than to push them away forever

[sweet t @_tweetnotfound]

lmao

[sweet t @_tweetnotfound]

Do yourself a favor and listen to this song while you watch it snow https://t.co/k6Ul4EA3Wd

[sweet t @_tweetnotfound]

“Load this in 4K”

No

[sweet t @_tweetnotfound]

Does anyone else get partway through typing a word, realize you’re totally fucking it up, and just say “screw it,” continue typing and hope for the best?

I was texting the word “expiring” and ended up with “ecjutinf.” Autocorrect did not save me.