willferrellparody

I AM NOT WILL FERRELL I AM A PARODY i am not affilated in any way with will ferrell. Here to make u laugh so just follow me

[willferrellparody @_willyferrell]

Do not touch MY iPhone. It's not an usPhone, it's not a wePhone, it's not an ourPhone, it's an iPhone.

[willferrellparody @_willyferrell]

Girls get butterflies. Guys get boners.

[willferrellparody @_willyferrell]

1 universe, 8 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas, 7 Billion people... and I'M STILL FUCKING SINGLE..

[willferrellparody @_willyferrell]

"Be strong" I whisper to my wifi connection

[willferrellparody @_willyferrell]

Teacher "why's your cat at school today?" Tim: "My dad said to my mom, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave' so I'm saving him

[willferrellparody @_willyferrell]

DO NOT expect a "Bless You" after your 3rd sneeze. Get that shit under fucking control..

[willferrellparody @_willyferrell]

I won’t take a bullet for anyone because if I have time to jump in front of a bullet, you have time to move.

[willferrellparody @_willyferrell]

Reasons why I stop replying: 1) I'm busy. 2) You're boring. 3) I'm mad. 4) You replied with one word. 5) I'm on twitter. 6) I'm eating.

[willferrellparody @_willyferrell]

I slept on a park bench last night. No hobo.

[willferrellparody @_willyferrell]

If a Redhead works at a bakery, would that make him a ginger bread man?

[thoughts @thegoatcircle]

Dolphins masturbate.

[willferrellparody @_willyferrell]

"Hey can I be honest with you?"
"No please lie to me."

[willferrellparody @_willyferrell]

Everything is better when you're with your best friend.

[willferrellparody @_willyferrell]

Waving hi to security cameras.

[willferrellparody @_willyferrell]

That mini heart attack when you reach in your pocket and your phone isn't there.

[willferrellparody @_willyferrell]

Finding out something about someone, and never looking at them the same.

[willferrellparody @_willyferrell]

I hate it when people randomly change.

[willferrellparody @_willyferrell]

Strangers think I'm quiet, my friends think I'm outgoing, my best friends know I'm insane.

[willferrellparody @_willyferrell]

Did i offend you? Oh wait, I don't give a shit.

[willferrellparody @_willyferrell]

Anyone who smiles on a Monday morning cannot be trusted.