morgz

fuzzy socks and birkenstocks

[la chusma @prollyhighaf]

“Cancel out my husbands vote” bitch if you don’t poison that man

[mlow bin laden @mayhewrote]

Trump getting ready to deport the same mexicans that voted for him

[KNICKS IN 5💙🧡💙🧡💙🧡 @alsostephenking]

sleepy joe you’ve got two months. go crazy. eliminate all student debt. legalize marijuana. make tampons and condoms free. ban cybertrucks. shit in the oval office’s air vent. kidnap barron. the world is your oyster buddy

[Rep. Casey Weinstein 🇺🇸 @RepWeinstein]

“Pro-life” would be 20 Sandy Hook students voting for the first time this election.

[alex @aloomf]

the only thing america hates more than a rapist is a woman

[morgz @_zgrom]

Did you say flower? Groovy baby, Austin Powers!

[Just Friends @BayAreaPartyPpl]

My brain feels bad all the time

https://t.co/vf8JrHwW3B

[morgz @_zgrom]

Just saw my neighbor tossing his bulldog around, picking him up off the ground by his leash connected to his collar, and telling the dog that he was “getting on [his] fucking nerve.” How about I take your last nerve and toss it around like you toss that dog around??? Shitbag.

[morgz @_zgrom]

still can’t believe that i opened my microwave this morning to cook a jimmy dean croissant sandwich, only to find a defrosted jimmy dean croissant sandwich that I put in the microwave the day before, defrosted according to package instructions, and forgot to finish cooking 🤪

[morgz @_zgrom]

I’m sorry, since when exactly did middle and high schools start doing gender reassignment surgery on children?? Why are your kids going away to school for multiple days at a time? Is this about boarding schools? What is he ever talking about??

[Alex Cole @acnewsitics]

Trump says, "Your kid goes to school and comes home a few days late with an operation."

I'll give CashApp $1000 to anyone that shows proof of a middle school or high school that operated on a child and changed their gender.

[Alexis Nikole Nelson @blackforager]

On misinformation, plant toxicity, gentle trespassing, and Alicia Silverstone

[morgz @_zgrom]

Fully regretting the king size Reese’s and KitKats I ate last night. I could have sworn there was a rule that chocolate isn’t allowed to upset your tummy when you’re on your period.

[Jay Motty @JayMotty]

This is better than any speech from a politician we’ve heard recently 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[trash jones @jzux]

i know i’m gonna be alone forever because one time i went on a date with a guy who told me he was an optometrist for the veterans association and i said “haven’t they seen enough”

[m 🧚🏻‍♀️ @spelunky_]

never reposted anything so fast

[morgz @_zgrom]

And I’ve tried multiple different cards and quadruple checked that everything was correct. But no luck. @talkspace FIX PLEAse 😭

[morgz @_zgrom]

Just trying to get back into therapy after being out of it for like two years and of course I went to use @talkspace because it’s covered through my employer, but the website refuses to accept my payment card and continually tells me the info I entered was wrong. So dumb.

[morgz @_zgrom]

Me, having no idea why my stomach hurts, meanwhile I have consumed 2 cups of coffee, a Diet Coke, and a slice of cake 🙂

[morgz @_zgrom]

Who keeps letting me walk down stairs?? I really should just stick to elevators and escalators

[morgz @_zgrom]

Sometimes I wish I still worked at costco just so I could make myself my own ice cream sundae to take home with me after closing