Invader Slim

“Air-raid or it’s your ass… freshman”

[Invader Slim @_zimm_]

Knicks gotta be the ugliest NBA Conference Final team to date

[Invader Slim @_zimm_]

Love being stuck behind a Jeep going 8 mph under the speed limit and just knowing they have about 50 of those gay ass rubber ducks plastered all over their dash

[Invader Slim @_zimm_]

@LangmanVince Sugar Ray… told me life was all about drinkin’

[Invader Slim @_zimm_]

@drinkonsaturday Code red was not as big a thing with us as posts like this would have you believe, but the rest of it tracks lol

[Invader Slim @_zimm_]

I don’t know what trait it is exactly, but you can always tell when an adult man was one of them kids at the urinal with his pants and undies down to the floor in elementary school lol

[Invader Slim @_zimm_]

Hippos being more deadly than lions is a statistic I’ll never believe. Seems made up

[Invader Slim @_zimm_]

@kristenESTXX Turn the noise up 🤘

[Invader Slim @_zimm_]

@TukiFromKL Literally everyone will still buy from Amazon nobody gives a shit

[Invader Slim @_zimm_]

@SteveLovesAmmo It’s gotta be frustrating being incompetent at the most basic things lol

[Invader Slim @_zimm_]

Not alot of rappers can keep up with how they spit 15 years ago, @machinegunkelly from “chip off the block” to now still delivering heat that’s on par or better. I’m excited for this rap album man I know he’s gonna slay it

[Invader Slim @_zimm_]

@dom_lucre It’s likely over because Hollywood can’t make a movie that isn’t dog shit anymore lol

[Invader Slim @_zimm_]

@lovedropx This is what all married men do while waiting the 30min your going to be late for the wife to finish getting ready lol

[Invader Slim @_zimm_]

I regretfully bought the cheap string cheese and first pull bit the FUCK out of my lip and this is why you don’t cheap out on stuff

[Invader Slim @_zimm_]

Driving by a house and seeing bright ass LEDs lighting their rooms from over-head fixtures is bonkers to me. I’m not a vamp but dang have some ambience bro

[Invader Slim @_zimm_]

Let’s be realistic, “tear here” and “re-sealable bag” have 40% success rates.

[Invader Slim @_zimm_]

@WallStreetApes What in the world makes you think they are in those positions to help you? Lol you think they give a fuck? Nobody makes it to those kind of salaries by helping people

[Invader Slim @_zimm_]

@goddek 13. Not a god damn thing you can do about any of it

[Invader Slim @_zimm_]

Smelling another adult’s bad breath in a professional work environment was something I never thought I’d encounter on a regular bases in my life.

[Invader Slim @_zimm_]

@thesigmamindset Fuuuuuuck yes I gotta start drinking tea

[Invader Slim @_zimm_]

Young kids at my work think they all that and don’t even know who John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt is lol