I yearn for a love who randomly tells me about the things they love seeing/hearing me do. Little personality traits they favor about me. To be adored. #bpd
normalize leaving people to avoid empathy burnout. yes, i love you, but i am tired of having to ask you to consider me, and i am tired of you not seeing where you went wrong.
I’m going to cry if my therapist ends up telling me that they think my ex never cared about me because that’s my worst fear and her constant arguing and reluctance to accept me expressing pain from her actions always makes me wonder if she doesn’t actually love me. It feels true.
Why would she insult all the hard work I’m doing to be a better partner and control my BPD all because I fucking told her that her speed of doing things is too slow for me??? There was no need for that, plus now you fucked up and said some irreversible shit to me.
I wasn’t expecting my therapist to take my side when I read my ex’s long insulting paragraph aloud to them. It took awhile to explain the entire argument to them but they ended up being frustrated with my ex just like I am. They told me that it “says a lot about who she is”.
I’m so used to thinking that I’m asking for too much or that I’m being unreasonable but hearing a therapist actually tell me that my ex is “not willing to sit with” my words and “change” was surprising and relieving in a way. Because yeah, why does she always argue with me??